There's a Hero to save me, I'm not gonna stand here and wait
by RoadwayFox
Summary: He saved me from the fire. Maybe I was supposed to save him from much more than the dangers his job had to offer.
1. Chapter 1

_**There's a Hero to save me, I'm not gonna stand here and wait**_

_An ice cold sensation on my hand was nothing compared to the suffocation I started feeling. My lungs felt like they were tearing apart from the inside. I couldn't breathe through my mouth or my nose…my throat was burning and nostrils were filled with some kind of soot. _

_My vision became blurry. So much that I couldn't exactly define objects in front of me as I stumbled on the floor, my bare legs tripping on something. The sounds were a vacuumed mess around me. _

_When I was ready to give up and succumb to the unconsciousness two strong arms grabbed me and effortlessly spinned my body around so I would be on my back._

"_You're ok, Miss. Can you hear me?"_

_I could. I don't know how coherent my answers and thoughts in general were but I knew three things: the house was on fire, I could hear him and this man has probably saved my life. _

It was 3:50 in the morning as I bolted from the restless slip with cold sweat covering my face and neck, my left hand – firmly bandaged and dripping of some cream that would heal the burn – was itching disgustingly.

Pulling a see-through gown over a wife beater and a boy shorts I tiptoed to the kitchen trying not to tumble over something and wake my sleeping friend Jen on the couch. She's been staying over for a last couple of days after I've been released from the hospital.

I took a bottle of water out of the fridge and took a big gulp instantly regretting it. The water came back up as fast as it went down the pipe as the pit of coughs erupted from my aching throat.

"And all of this because you refuse to listen to the doctor's orders." A faint sleepy voice of Jen announced from the couch, her body still twisted in a position I'm not sure anyone could sleep at all in. "Your windpipe was slightly damaged with all the smoke inhalations and while it's healing you need to drink only warm liquids – no hot, no cold. Ice cold water doesn't do the trick."

"Thanks, Doc!" I sent the fridge door flying after storing the water back inside.

"Don't be moody! Or you'll be talking like Mickey Rourke for the rest of your life!" She finally turned her head in the direction of the kitchen island.

"I don't talk like Mickey!" I snapped back. But I did. My voice was raspy and it seemed that I was a good old addict.

Jen produced a small laugh and finally made herself stand up and join me in the kitchen. We both stared through a large wall-long window at night Chicago.

"Still can't sleep?" She asked.

"No sleep for me." I confirmed. "Sorry I woke you."

"Don't be, I'm here for that."

I made my face produce a half-smile. That's really all I could.

"Thank you. Like really…thank you."

We stayed that way for some time just gazing at the night sky, lighted streets of our favorite city. Jen went back to the couch in some time but I stayed there on the bar stool with my back to the counter and legs on the window shell watching the sunrise. No sleep came my way.

-\-

"Your hand is healing very good. I'll need to see it couple more times and keep the bandages out of the water. As for your throat, it should be as good as new in a couple days."

"Thanks, Doctor Sampson." I nodded to a dark-skinned thirty-something man in white robe and light-green scrubs. "I'll see you the day after tomorrow then?"

"Yes, you will."

I used my good hand to take a purse and my jacket when the good doctor called out:

"Harper?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you feel apart from the injury? Headaches? Depression? Sleep deprivation?"

I calculated my options for a minute.

"Maybe it's a little harder to sleep but I don't think it's anything important." I replied with a fake smile. But I was looking at his forehead and I think he realized I was lying.

"Well, if it gets worse, tell me. I'll write a prescription for some sleeping drugs."

"Ok, thanks." And I was out of his door.

I was in the elevator in a moment all the while pulling on my leather jacket and finding a floor extremely interesting and void of the things that could destruct me of my thoughts so when the sensor suddenly indicated the first floor and I still caught in the abrupt difficulty of my jacket clumsily stepped out it was no wander that I swiftly collided with a solid object. I produced a low noise and was close to hitting the floor when I felt arms. A pair of strongest arms grabbed me by the shoulders and steadied me. A sense of déjà vu engulfed me and I urgently searched my memory for the recognition, getting nothing.

Managing to stay still I looked up to see a very _very_ solid chest on my eye-level. I have an exceptionally small and delicate figure so it's not exactly an achievement but this man was _very _athletic with broad shoulders, strong arms and by the way the simple black shirt covered his stomach it wasn't wrong to assume that all nine yards are hidden behind it. I made myself snap out of it and look up to be met with a pair grayish green eyes and a stubble of at least three-four days.

"You ok there, pixie?" Now that got me out of the moment.

"I'm no pixie!" He was still holding his arms on my shoulders and his greyish eye were dancing, and I felt warmth from his palms. My voice aimed for high undertones but it was still raspy and traitorous caugh eatched somewhere at the edge. That seemingly made him supply a little laugh and a small smirk. Or was it a smile? "Well, maybe I am but you don't call me that!"

"Ok, pixie." He said dumbfounding me. " Careful with that hand."

He added after seeing my bandages and a moment later was in the elevator I've just exited. I turned to look at him as the doors closed but not before he winked at me.

"Agrr.." I let a frustrated sound and made my way out of the Lakeshore Hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: In case you thought otherwise – I don't own anything , maybe only Harper, other characters you don't recognize and the plot.

A\N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It means my better mood and when I'm in a mood I write (a hint intended). Everyone who hasn't yet, please, DO! I'd really like to know what you think, whether or not to go on with it, maybe something you'd like to read in particular. I'd be glad to know!

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He recognized her instantly: she wasn't covered in dirt, her dark hair wasn't sticking to her face due to sweat and her eyes were clear blues. She was small, very skinny to that. Her skin was almost extraordinary pale and her chocolate brown hair was in a tight pony-tail. And when he reached to help her ungraceful self not to collide with the hospital floor she fit in his arms just perfectly..exactly like that time almost a week ago when he carried her out of the burning house on Madison Street.

She looked him in the eye as if trying to remember where she knew him from but before she could put two and two together he called her a pixie and left. Her expression was nothing short but adorable: lips slightly pouted, she wasn't wearing any make up and her doe eyes blinked following him to the elevator.

Kelly kicked his head back slightly. Why couldn't he just ask her how she was feeling? Or about her hand! Jeez…she had a burn on her hand and he said something among the lines of "be careful with it!"…brilliant words! Why couldn't he just ask her if she needed a ride! She couldn't drive with that hand even if her life depended on it! But nooo...he called her a pixie.

The truth was what was he supposed to say? He didn't want her knowing that he was the one to get her out of the fire – she would feel like she owed him. People always did. And usually it was a good thing. With ladies too. But this time…well, he didn't her feeling like she was in his debt or something.

And now there was a chance he wouldn't see her at all anymore. Shit.

-\-

The wait in the hall wasn't long enough. The door opened to reveal a greying woman in her early 50s with thin lips and eyes red from crying.

"Harper!" She cried and was pulling me into the room in no time.

"Mrs. Holms." I said though my eyes watered too. "I'm so sorry about April. I wish…"

But I wasn't sure what to say so the interruption on her part played out nicely for me.

"Don't you dare. It was a vivid accident. I can only thank God you're alive." She took my face in both her hands and then hugged me again.

"How was the memorial?" I wasn't there, I was still in the hospital then.

"Beautiful." She answered simply and took me to the kitchen. "Although I'm not sure if I'm aloud to say this about my own daughter's funeral. Her brother and father both attended."

"Really?" I was surprise to hear that April's older half-brother even knew he's sister was a victim of fire, all I knew was that he was a diplomat in South America.

Mrs. Holms nodded and busied herself making a tea:

"How are you feeling, dear?"

"I..I don't know..." I decided to withhold the information about my lack of sleep. I was talking to a woman who's just lost her child after all. "It's just it seems like only yesterday she and I were fighting for the lead in the Swan Lake and it's already five years since that Swan Lake, I don't dance ballet anymore and now she's gone. And in all the reality there's no one to blame. From what I know the fire started on the floor below us because of a candle or something…a freaky accident really…and no one to blame…and I feel like I want someone to blame…like I need someone to blame…"

I didn't realize how my eyes got wet or how Mrs. Holms was hugging me to her chest, comforting me with soft words the way a real mother would comfort her child. She was still a mother, that would never leave her. Just without a child now.

"I'm sorry…I was supposed to see how you were doing and not pull the whole fountain thing…"

"You're ok." She put a strand of hair behind my ear lovingly. "You're gonna be ok."

"Mrs. Holms…" I asked after a pause while she was putting teacups, milk and sugar on the table. "Do you know anything about the men who saved me? Firefighters?"

"Not much. I only know that it was a Firehouse 51 crew."

When a stood to leave it was around 3p.m.

"Harper," Mrs. Holms stopped me at the door. "You need to start eating normally."

"I'm fine." I reassured her, but she wasn't buying it.

"I am…was a mother of a ballet dancer. I know one unhealthy eating disorder when I see one. You don't dance anymore, stop torturing your body."

My mouth opened to answer something but a decided against it, simply nodded and made my exit.

On the porch I stopped to fish out an iPhone from the purse and googled Firehouse 51. It was just two blocks away East. Very close.

Seemed like the wind became even more hostile and my leather jacket started to appear not to be enough. Good I had a long sweater underneath and big wool scarf that covered my shoulders, neck and a good half of my face.

Fifteen minutes later I was facing a massive white-stoned building with three automatic gates for trucks and a dozen cars on the parking in the front.

Getting closer to the entrance I saw a young paramedic woman slip out of the door. She was around twenty-six, just a little bit older than me, with dark hair and a skin as if she was permanently kissed by the sun.

"Hey, can I help you?" She asked as soon as she saw my approach.

"That would be nice." I stopped in front of her. "I'm looking for someone who could tell me anything about the fire on Madison St. five nights ago."

"I've been there. One hell of a fire, let me tell you. Ok, let me take you to Lieutenant." She turned back to the door from which went out. "I'm Gabriela by the way."

"Nice to meet you." I replied but didn't bother to offer a smile. "I'm Harper. Harper Riley."


	3. Chapter 3

A\N: Dear wonderful readers, my heart feels so warm and fluffy when I read your reviews so please keep sending them! Also, so that we're clear about the timeline, the story's set a little less than a year prior the TV show. And remember, your feedback = my inspiration.

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"_Can you hear me?" But the features of his face were blurry and my head felt awfully dizzy. "Can you hear me?"_

"You still with me?" Only then I realized that I've been staring at the fire truck for probably quite some time.

"Yeah…of course." I nodded and sprinted after Gabriela, the paramedic. "Sorry."

"It's ok, they _are_ impressive."

"But you see that every day." I smiled softly.

"Yeah, but you know, every time you see the guys jump down the pole and work as an automatically functioning team in a matter of seconds, trust me, there's nothing like it." She smiled to herself.

We proceeded into a small corridor and turned left, passing what looked to be a kitchen where two men were sitting with cups of black liquid.

"Casey!" Gabriela called when we neared a small office.

The door flew open to reveal a tall athletic-built blonde with blue eyes. He looked young, but I guessed that he seemed younger than he really was. He looked like he was trying to take a nap right there on his desk and was rudely interrupted:

"What?"

"There's someone here to talk to you."

He looked confused after a glance at me.

"Do we know each other?" His voice was a little rough and held a dense impact of an accent, I'd say, Australian.

"I'm Harper. I'd really like to talk to you about the fire your crew was on five days ago on Madison St. if you don't mind." I said, extending my right arm for him.

He nodded finally getting an idea of what was happening and after shaking his head to rid himself of reminder of slumber took my hand for a moment and showed me into his office, nodding to the paramedic who stayed behind.

"I'm Matthew Casey. So, the Madison Street. Big one, how did you happen to be there?"

I took a sit he'd showed me:

"I stayed a night at my friend April's apartment. She didn't make it."

"Sorry to hear it. So why are you here?"

"I…I wanted to thank you for saving me if it isn't obvious." I chuckled a bit and he smiled at that, grinned even. "Now when I talk about it, it sounds pretty stupid. Like whatever did I really come here for? It's just…I don't know…as if I really wanted to make sure you existed. All I remember is that it was very unclear, foggy from all that smoke. I couldn't see, breathe, and there was a moment when I thought that I was a goner. But then one of your man or you, I don't now, just appeared out of the blue and picked me up and…I think I fainted then."

"Well whoever it was, it wasn't me, so the praises are misplaced." He smiled kindly and reached to pat my shoulder. "Whoever of the guys it was, it's our job, so you don't owe us anything. Although your gratitude is more than enough."

"I know it's your job but for me it's my life."

"Ok, I'll tell you what, you talk to Severide, he's in charge of Squad 3, they were there that night too and they are the ones that get people out while we put out the fire."

"Really? Thank you! I hope this isn't any imposition…"

"Don't be ridiculous, if the sirens start going off then we'll think about it." He smirked and stood up. "Stay here, I'll go see if he's in the earshot."

"Thank you." I smiled again and when he was out of the door tried to scratch my bandaged hand.

The office was very small, furnished only with a table and a chair, two wooden chairs in front of it and something that reminded of a sofa but I wouldn't risk it. It really looked like a poor thing was leaving off the last year. There was a clock on the wall opposite from the table. I hate clocks, the ticking…I don't have any clocks home, use my phone for that. It started when I was little, I just took all the clocks out of my room because I couldn't sleep even with the slightest ticking.

My thoughts went flying out of the window when the door opened again and the man from the hospital, the one with grayish eyes and stubble and the annoying _pixie _remarks.

"Pixie?" And there he went again.

But I was still a little shocked though I did manage stand up from that very uncomfortable chair.

"Yeah…yeah, me again. And you…"

"Yeah, me is me." He smirked when I stopped talking.

"Can you be serious? Ever?" I send my hands in the air, hurting my left hand with a fast move, that made me grind my teeth together and produce a strange sound: like a drunken rocker slash an injured doe.

"Told you to be careful with that hand of yours, haven't I?" And I didn't exactly notice how he materialized at my side and was inspecting my hand.

The unwanted traitorous shivers emerged and the little hairs at the back of my neck stood out as I watched him examine my hand.

"It was you, wasn't it?" I asked and though it was a whisper, my voice sounded harsh even though I tried to smooth it a little.

"Whatever you're talking about, Pixie?"

I reluctantly took my hand back and cradled it to my chest. He finally looked up to my face.

"I know it was you. You got me out of the burning house."

"I take out a lot of people out of lots of burning houses. It's what I do. But you're wrong. It wasn't me. There was a lot of smoke and from what I can tell from you voice you've inhaled a good portion of it. Your mind was probably shutting and you imagined that it was me. The truth is, it was probably one of my guys or one of Casey's guys so it would not be right to take their credit. But really, Pixie, I'm flattered that you think it was me." And he sat on the edge of the table.

"My name's Harper, not Pixie." I answered and truthfully I felt disappointed, don't know why exactly but I did. "I really thought it was you. Sorry I took a lot of your time,…"

"Kelly. But everyone here calls me Severide."

"Kelly." I pulled scarf closer. "Bye."

I didn't wait for an answer.

-\-

"What's really wrong with you?"

Matt's voice loomed over Kelly who was sitting with his face in his hands on the couch.

"Nothing."

"But this girl. She was right. You got her out. That night we saved two people: her and a guy. And you took her out. Why would you let her think otherwise?" Casey was confused…and even more confused looking at his friend's reaction.

"Since when are you eavesdropping?"

"Since you've become a moron! A hot chick comes over to thank you for saving her life and you send her off. Tell me there's nothing wrong with the picture!" Matt took a sit beside his friend.

"Not interested in hearing this!" Kelly barked and stormed out.

-\-

"Harper!" I snapped out of my thoughts and tried to distinguish the direction of the sound. "Over here!"

Halfway to my left was a paramedic truck with Gabriela and another young blonde woman dressed exactly the same in dark grey trousers and a grey shirt. Gabriela was trying to tie a corset but to no avail.

"What are you doing?" I generated a small laugh and both girls joined me straight in.

"This is my Halloween costume. We have this party – well, more like a gathering of friends at the bar tonight, I decided to lighten up for an outing a bit!" Gabriela suggested still fighting the cloth.

"Let me do this." I offered and when she turned her back to me, I didn't waste much time and started lacing her corset adjusting it so it would fit her body nicely.

"So did you find what you came here for?" She asked while trying to stand still.

"Not exactly. The opposite even, I guess." But I smiled.

"Wow, you seem to be a pro at that!" Her blonde friend noticed, eyeing my work on the corset. "I'm Leslie."

"I'm Harper." I smiled, nearing to the bottom with my lacing job. "Yeah, I've had to lace my share of corsets. There you go, looking very nice in it."

And we laughed again because the white corset was placed atop her uniform and looked right out ridiculous.

"You know, you should come to the bar tonight!" The dark skinned paramedic suggested and her blonde friend started nodding enthusiastically.

"Are you sure it's gonna be ok with your friends?" I asked hesitating.

"Of course!" They both said in unison.

"Well sure." I nodded and took out my phone to type in the address. "Why not?"


	4. Chapter 4

Still don't own the good stuff….still waiting for your reviews! While doing so, giving you some funny Matt and Andy!

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The outing, as Gabriela so eloquently put it earlier, was really a very pleasant gathering of friends; firefighters mostly, some of them with their better halves like the Dardens who seemed to be incredibly lovely or the ones like Herrmann who came for a glass of beer having promised his wife and kids to be back in no time though we all witnessed him drowning at least a third glass, paramedics (Leslie brought her girlfriend Annie) and a couple people from Lakeshore Hospital. All in all I realized that I probably was the only one who didn't have any official connection to anyone on the crew. At first it really did put me off a little…for five minutes maybe but everyone seemed so inviting and friendly that in no time I actually forgot my silly concerns.

The beer and tequila were fountaining and soon enough Gabriela's joke with the corset (which she was wearing atop of a white shirt and completed the outfit with dark jeans and flat boots) was becoming more and more fun, some of the girls (Hallie and Annie) started dancing near the bar. In the grand scheme I happened to be holding two shots of tequila, standing with Andy and Matt, who were busy with their own shot glasses, we were smiling funnily at each other and for a passerby it was probably very easy to deduct that we were pretty intoxicated.

"You're not backing down?" Casey smirked.

I shook my head 'no' and mumbled something like 'never', Andy pushed into Matt, trying to make a point which was a lot of fun for the blonde started talking to the glasses in his hands begging them not to spill themselves. Andy and I burst into laughing.

"Ok, ok….stop, please." I think I was ready to fall in two from laughing so hard. "I'm gonna drop it if you don't stop!"

"One, two, three…DRINK!" and the three of us drowned each two shots in less than three seconds. Lemon, juicy and so good with tequila, followed.

When I was sucking on my slice of the fruit, I didn't notice how a muscular man in a black leather jacket appeared near the two friends.

"Oh my God, there're three of you." And I grinned. Oooook, no more tequila for Harper!

Andy didn't bother to say anything, he just came over to my side and put a hand on my shoulder, laughing hysterically. We almost fell on the bar with our upper bodies for Andy was much stronger than me and his body weight was actually hanging on me. Drunk me. It didn't stop our fit of laughter.

"You know Harper, right?" I heard Casey speak to our last addition. "She's our new friend! Harper?"

After Andy and I showed bartender that we needed four more shots of tequila, we turned to Casey and my tanked mind finally registrated who was standing next to the equally smashed blonde.

"Oh…" I produced and my face changed in some kind of grimace I don't think anybody actually could interpret.

Kelly cocked his head to take in both, me and Andy, at an angle we were…placed. A strange song about whips, chains and non-traditional sexual relationships started playing at the same time our tequila arrived. I felt Andy starting to drag me down with him and as my eyes went wide I grabbed on the bar stronger.

"Ook!" Kelly fast took a hold of his drunk friend and repositioned him on Matt's shoulders. "You take care of him, I'll take care of her."

Before any other wards could be heard from me or Casey, or even a slightly comprehensible thought emerged in my head, Severide caught my hand and waist, I caught two shots of tequila and he was dragging me outside.

"What did you do that for? I liked it in there!" I pouted, a common thing for a drunk me.

"A fresh air will do you good." He said calm as a stone and took a sit on the window shell, taking out a cigar. Really?! A cigar?

I grimaced at the sight of it but held my tongue, biting my lower lip.

"You gonna drink that?" He looked at the shots of liquid.

"You gonna smoke that?" I shot back.

He took out a lighter and a second later was inhaling a poisonous smoke. I decided that I could at least finish off my own poison and knocked back one after another. I think I was a little unstable on feet so when I reopened my eyes I was standing tangled with Kelly who was still sitting and he was holding me with one of his hands by the elbow.

I was silent and put a hand on his shoulder, feeling his leather jacket underneath my palm.

He put away the cigar never finishing it. Suddenly my head started spinning slightly and it felt like the silence gulped all the movements.

"I'm cold…" I whispered but the sound seemed to travel longer then I intended.

The firefighter stood up. He had at least two heads on me and was like tall _hot _wall that was blocking me from the street lights and shutting out the loud noises from the bar. He took off his leather jacket and a moment later I felt it on my shoulders. He didn't take his hands away, waiting for me to put mine into the sleeves. As I was struggling with the task I was looking at his neck, chest…didn't dare pulling my eyes higher. When he started zipping the cloth, I followed his hands with my eyes but as he reached my throat I felt the fingers of one of his hands leave the zipper and briefly travel to my chin, drawing it up so I would have no choice but to look at his face.

The wind was blowing at my hair and if it wasn't for the close proximity to this man no jacket would do the job on such a cold night.

"It was you. Tell me the truth because I'm not crazy – I know your arms…I remember your arms…" My voice was gentle but steady.

He didn't say anything for some time, then the hand that was holding my chin moved to my cheek. His hand was a heat and I was so cold.

"It was me." And his own voice was low as well.

His face was inches apart from mine. But his words flew right into my intoxicated mind and left a print there. I blinked a couple times as if to make sure I was there with that man, that it was really my life.

His face was still a finger distance away from mine. He was looking at my lips and my eyes and there was nothing I wanted more then to give in this warm sensation the intimate moment created but even with my drunk mind I realized that there's a great chance I wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow.

"Can you get me home?" I finally said, looking at him with the most sober eyes I could master.

He pursed his lips but I could swear I've seen a small smile play on them. Then Kelly nodded and wrapping an arm around me to steady me and keep me warm tugged me to the taxi station down the road.

I don't remember anything for I fell asleep on his shoulder as soon as the driver hit the gas, but before we got into the cab I remember that I turned to him and said as clear as I possibly could:

"Promise me that you'll tell me this again tomorrow if I forget."

"Get into the car, Pixie." And he pushed me in but something told me that he'd keep the promise.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't think there was any possibility of me moving even if my life life…stretch that the planet's existence depended on it.

A splitting headache caught on with me around 10 am. That time I teared off yesterday's sweater and jeans, put on a pair of flannel pj bottoms and a grey tee, crawled out of my room, filled a glass of water and having fully consumed it, fell on the couch dead again.

It was around noon that my tired body had to wake up due to the doorbell.

"No…can't do this." Even if I wanted to!

Somebody was very persistent.

I finally dragged myself up and desperately struggling on my feet zigzagged to the door. My eyes went wide when I managed to open it although I found it strange that my face was capable of such a colorful emotion.

"What are you doing here?" Thank God it didn't sound accusing. Gaping and holding on the doorframe for support I was the embodiment of surprise.

"Good, you're waiting for me then."

And Kelly, holding two coffees and a to-go wrap from Jerry's, passed me with a smirk and bearing a scent of fresh brewed caffeine.

"Hello, coffee." I whispered and closed the door.

In the kitchen a very strange and excitedly overwhelming picture was expecting me. Kelly, having taken off his jacket, was unwrapping Jerry's sandwiches and fries, acting as if it wasn't his first time on my kitchen, in my apartment, in my life – as if we've done this every Sunday…as if it was our own picture perfect.

I slowly, still conscious about what I was seeing but a smile tugging at my lips, took a sit at the kitchen island where the food was set like on the fair. I reached for a piece of fries but Kelly's hand hit mine playfully but with a certain amount of strength just to make a point.

"Heeey!" I pouted like a child.

"This is for me." He pulled the fries closer to him and took out the last unit that was still to unwrap from the take-away package. "This is for people who don't know there liquor limit a.k.a you."

I pretended to pout some more but my eyes were smiling and the same act was tugging on my lips.

It was a chicken rice soup. A chicken rice soup!

And I literally felt my heart fell to my stomach and disturb the butterflies there. I've always considered a chicken soup to be something very metaphorical, an indication that somebody cares for you enough to cook for you when you're unwell. He didn't cook a chicken soup for me, he bought it at Jerry's but it was the most wonderful thing he could have done for me. Well…maybe apart from actually saving my life.

I grabbed a spoon and tasted the broth. It was good, really good.

Kelly watched silently, as if making sure that I ate, and then started getting better acquainted with his sandwich.

I didn't think my digesting would respond good to anything that's why just sipped the bouillon leaving the chicken and rice out.

"Jerry's is a life saver!" I said finally and instantly realized just what a wordplay it was.

Laughing in my soup I looked up to see Kelly smiling with a fry still sticking out of his mouth.

"Yeah, especially in my line of work." He threw another potato chip in.

"Hey, why didn't you admit that you were the one to save me when I came down to the station the other day?" I opened the coffee cup and blew on it to cool the black fluid off.

"So you do remember that part from yesterday." Another fry.

"A-ha." I nodded, taking a sip of coffee.

"It was right before you went unconscious on me again. Not a good tendency." He took a hold of his own coffee and kept avoiding the question.

"Well, you seem to do more than a good job in saving me. That's a good tendency."

"Think you're smart? Drink your coffee."

"You have a day off?" I dropped the subject. I knew he'd tell me eventually, no need to rush – my head felt like a place of explosion anyway.

"Yep. But I know who doesn't: your new drunk buddy Casey." He smirked evilly and his eyes filled with mischief of a 5-year-old.

"Oh God!" I howled good-naturally. "Don't say his name! Or last name! it equals "alcohol" right now!"

"You know, he's gonna feel e-e-extra-good in his helmet today!" He seemed to be very happy with his own joke.

"You're evil." I concluded, smiling.

"Nooo." It was a whisper full of that same mischief. "No."

I laughed, shaking my head, and he started cleaning the mess on the table.

He stayed. And insulted my DVD collection, and complained about how my fridge's empty except for Oj, yogurt and milk, kept bugging me about the fact that I don't treat my burn right, called me Pixie and made hangover jokes…but I asked and he stayed without further ado. He was the first one I wanted to stay. Just to stay because even if I just met him, laying on my couch with his hand around me and watching some silly cartoons on TV, hearing his heart beat under my ear when I put my head on his chest, with dulling pain still present in my head throughout the day, I don't think I've ever felt safer.

It was getting dark when Kelly decided that it was time for him to leave regarding that he's spent the whole day at my place and had work in the morning.

"You feeling better?" He asked at the door.

"Much." I delivered a smile as a confirmation.

"Good." He used his hand to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. "Then you'll be ready to meet up with me and the guys tomorrow night at the bar?"

"I think…" I made a tentative step closer and our closeness was counted in inches. "I would rather you'd ask me alone and then we could go say hi to the guys."

"I think…" He lowered his head to my level. "I like your idea even better."

And I closed the gap between us. And though I was the one that caught his bottom lip in between mine, he ripped the initiative out of my hands and backed me into the door with one of his hands on my neck and the other on my waist. My good hand flew up to his neck and found its place behind his ear, my fingertips barely touching sensitive skin there.

The kiss was heated and second by second I felt myself beginning to melt. Into him. My reflexes dimed and if he'd let go right then and there I could guarantee my knees would've given way because that moment there was no gravity for me.

Breaking apart breathless, Kelly still stood there holding me in his arms, my head fitting in the crook of his neck as a human puzzle. He inhaled deeply and stepped aside, his hands slowly leaving me.

"I should go."

I didn't exactly trust my voice so just went with nodding.

He pulled an infamous smirk on his face, quickly bent to kiss the corner of my lips still bruised from our previous make-out session and with "See you tomorrow" was gone.

After closing the door I fell back on the couch. The smell of wet wood, his cologne, lingered strongly on the pillows and blankets and wrapped in them and consequently in the scent itself I fell asleep instantly.

-\-\-

There you go! Lots and lots of Kelly\Harper fluff in one chapter. But don't fret, my lovelies, I just wanted to give you a taste of a good thing, the problems are about to start, and both of them have plenty!

And YOU, my dears, don't forget to leave your opinions and tell me what you think of our lovebirds and their story! =) Review!

P.S. Is it just me or am I really giving a non-commercial PR to Jerry's in this chapter?))


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up early next day still on the couch. But the best thing was that there were no nightmares, no waking up in the middle of the night with a frozen scream in my throat. It made me hope that my bad luck in that department was close to over.

The phone on the table, set on silent, was full of notifications on the screen: three missed calls from the Dance Studio, a text from Gabriela proposing a lunch if I was free and if her and Leslie wouldn't have an emergency call, and some spams as well.

I texted Gabriela back asking where and when, and put a phone to my ear, calling the Studio.

"Dance Studio Evita, Nora, how can I help you?" A pleasant voice of the receptionist sang.

"Hey, Nora, 's Harper. Did you call me, there're some missed calls here." I worked with one hand, digging in the fridge in search for breakfast: finding a pack of Oj, I contently took it out, poured a glass and started looking for a french press to make coffee.

"Oh, hey, Harper, how are you feeling?" She answered too enthusiastically for 8.30 in the morning.

"Better, thanks. So was there something you guys wanted or did you just wanted to know about the healing process?"

"Actually, both. I'm glad you're feeling better though. Anyway, Jonathan wanted to talk to you about your schedule and the Blackpool Chicago Annual Dance."

"Ok, I'll call him."

"I can put you through right now."

"He's there? At half past eight?" I put the kettle on.

"Hello?" A smooth voice with thick English accent came through.

"Jonathan, hey, it's Harper. You wanted to talk to me?"

"Harper, I've been worried."

I stopped the coffee routine. My eyebrows went slightly up. _Whatever you say to that?_

"Well, thank you. You shouldn't have. I'm feeling better."

"Wonderful to know. I need you tonight at the Studio. Eric had to leave and he can't replace you since today. Will you be able to do it or shell I give a notice that today there'll be no class?"

"No, I shall be fine. At five?"

"Yes, the usual spot." He paused for a moment. "Have you thought about the Blackpool?"

"I…" I started biting at my index finger. "I still don't think this is a good idea."

"I don't agree. Your knee will not have to be as pressured as it was during your ballet days. By a long shot. And I'm not asking you to take some medieval partner but someone you know and know the technique and skills of. Think again, it's your way to come back. In a different form maybe but to come back nonetheless." I had to give it him, he knew how to be persuasive. "I'll step by to check on you tonight a 5, Harper."

"I'll see you tonight then, Jonathan." I hung up.

Sipping my juice, my thoughts went flying to yesterday, Kelly, our kiss…the kiss…that small action seemed to hold so much in it. The biggest specter of emotions we could create. So intense and at the same time so pure. Pure in a way that there was no lies in it. And the element of it being something new, undiscovered, fresh was another check in a Pros column. Yesterday seemed like a safe haven, some kind of sanctuary from tomorrow. But tomorrow came regardless and before I would see _my firefighter_ again I had some important things to do.

If that just didn't make me sound like silly schoolgirl with a crush!

-\-

"Sooo…" Andy took a sit on one side of Kelly who was changing on one of the benches. "I kinda didn't get a call from you all day yesterday."

"Don't worry!" A grinning smug-looking Matt parked himself on the other side of their friend. "I didn't either. Although I do remember our friend here leaving with lovely Harper the night before."

"That reminds me," Kelly pulled a grey shirt on. "How is it that you DO remember this stuff? I mean, you were soo wasted I'd bet you wouldn't remember your own name!"

"Laugh all you want but I do remember you taking Harper out of the bar and then none of us saw you or her all night!" Casey stated matter-of-factly.

"I took her home." Kelly explained and when Andy's expression became even brighter, added. "And left."

"Took her home…" Andy was confused.

"And left?" Matt added confused as well.

"And came back for breakfast." Kelly decided to give his striving friends a bone. "Well, with breakfast, I guess."

"You're lucky dog!" Matt clapped him on the shoulder. "So…?"

"So what? I'm telling nothing more, stop being a nosy bitch!" Kelly clapped him back and stood to put his things away.

"Oh my God!..." Andy made shocked noise. "You like her!"

"Of course I do, haven't you seen her? What is there not to like?" Kelly countered with his back to the guys.

"No…like you really like her!" Still shocked Andy looked at Matt as if he came across a new addition to the latest space discovery.

"Yeah! That's why he didn't want her to know that he saved her life!" Casey jumped on the opportunity.

"He didn't want her to know?…"

"Hello! _He _is standing right here and _you two_ still have a job as far as I know so why don't you stop bugging me and go do something." Kelly looked annoyed as he turned to his two best friends' smirking faces.

"Sure, lover boy!" Matt stood to leave but not before he left another clap on Kelly's shoulder, making the older man shook his head.

"She's a nice girl." Andy stood as well. "Don't fuck it up."

After a pause when Kelly thought whether there was a point in saying anything he succumbed at last:

"I'll try not to."

Andy smiled. "Good boy."

-\-

"Sooo….."

"Oh-oh. Never liked that start!" I half-grinned and I think I could sniff the aroma of our approaching coffee as were sitting outside in a small café in the Lincoln Park far overlooking the busy Lake Shore Drive.

"Come on!" Gabriela was trying to interrogate me about the night at the bar, her eyes sparkled and a playful smile didn't leave her face.

"Ok, your smiling like an idiot is quiet infectious!" I was fully grinning by then.

We laughed. My coffee and Gaby's water and tuna salad arrived, and the conversation resumed.

"Sooo.." She repeated, slyly. "He stayed the night?"

"Nope." I said, stressing the "pe" part. "But he spent yesterday with me."

The dark-skinned paramedic dropped her fork as her big eyes went even wider.

"Really?! Are we talking about the same Kelly Severide? Around thirty, 5'11", muscular, loves his own persona…"

I started laughing:

"You're making him sound absolutely awful! Though he does seem quiet taken with himself now that you said about it."

"Don't get me wrong, overall he's a nice guy…somewhere deep inside…it's just I guess what I'm trying to say is that not a lot of people get to see this other side of him." Still a bit shocked she smiled anyway.

"Overall a nice guy?" I quoted and grimaced.

"Well he does save people for living." She grinned and stabbed an olive in her salad. "Can't be that bad!"

I was quiet for a minute while she was digesting both, her salad and the information.

"He spent the whole day with you?" She clarified with the look of a focused lawyer.

"And he brought me chicken soup in the morning of hangover." I curled hands around my cup, smiling.

I could swear if she wasn't seated, she'd just fall.

"Am I really describing such a different person to you right now?" I asked when she was still frozen in astonishment.

"Well…" She cleared her throat. "He's best friends with Matt and Andy. I guess, it would be stupid to expect him to wear his heart of apparently a fluffy puppy on his sleeve. We're not such good friends for that."

"Ohh!" I threw a balled napkin at her.

She dodged and laughed at my reaction:

"Well I'm glad for you. If he is with you the way you portray it then…it's just amazing."

I beamed and took another sip of my coffee:

"So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"So it's Matt?" And she spilled her water. "I swear it's like you've never used the tableware before. Ever!"

When the surprise finally wore off she asked:

"Am I that obvious?"

"Apparently not to Matt but it was strange for me that Hallie doesn't see anything as well." I looked at her over my cup. "How long has this been going on?"

"Too long…" She huffed.

"Are you gonna do anything about it?"

"No…maybe…jeez I don't know!" I pulled a now-empty plate and her glass closer to me, just not to risk it.

Gabriela watched me for a moment and then smiled at the action.

"You should."

"But he's with Hallie and he seems happy. Isn't that the point?" She shook her head and looked at me.

"I can tell you one thing for sure: we don't know what's really going on behind the close doors of ones' relationships. You don't know if he's really happy. He might be. But maybe you tell him how you feel and then both of you are gonna be happy."

"And what if he doesn't feel the same which he probably doesn't.." She looked out at all the flora around us.

"Then I guess you should take some acting classes." And I finished my coffee as we plunged into a comfortable silence.


	7. Chapter 7

I had to admit it was a very nice and at the same exciting feeling to exit the Studio and see Him standing across the street, hands deep into the pockets of his dark-washed jeans, leather jacket irreplaceable, he looked like he was very hard not to take out a cigar and indulge himself in its poisonous smoke. It was barely eight and my classes just finished.

I felt something warm in the pit of my stomach as if a bubble of something pleasantly hot burst and its warmth spread throughout me. The feeling was thrilling to say the least.

Kelly noticed me and hurried across the street to me still waiting on the stairs of a ten-story building with the upper two floors belonging to Evita Dance Studio. I smiled and cloaked myself further into the big scarf I was sporting again.

"Hey." He stopped in front of me and as I was standing two stairs from the ground, we were practically the same size.

"Hey yourself." I beamed. We were so close our noses were almost touching and I could just about see the air he exhaled as it turned transparent-white on the cold November evening. "You're early."

"I'm on time." He corrected and I didn't believe him.

Neither of us made a move to close the distance probably being afraid that after our last intimate encounter at my door there was no way we would proceed with the date if there would be a repeat of that heated make-out session.

My eyes glinted and I smiled sheepishly before looking down and biting my lower lip out of habit.

Kelly smirked:

"You're not gonna make this easy for me at all, are you?"

"You wish."

"Shall we?" He said, offering me his hand.

I eagerly took it and we proceeded down the street when he asked . "You hungry?"

"Not really. I had a good lunch with Gabriela. But I wouldn't mind the biggest mug of coffee or tea. It's kinda cold outside."

"The biggest mug it is then." He nodded and secured my hand in his much bigger one. "So this is where you work?"

"Yeah." I sent a look to the roof of the building we've just left behind. "I teach here."

Kelly's eyebrows rose:

"You teach, really?"

"What?! Don't I look like someone who could teach people how to dance?" My tone wasn't accusing but I added a pretend-big-eyes just to be sure I delivered a thought across.

"Not what I meant." He laughed and I loved how his deep reach voice sounded near my ear. "I just thought you would be the one to dance. You look like someone who could be the finest dancer."

"Huh, the flattery will get you nowhere but, for the record, keep going." I grinned but cleared my throat to continue. "I used to dance…professionally. Ballet. Ever since I was four. American Academy of Ballet graduate. And until last year it was the biggest and unfortunately the most important part of my life. And then the car accident happened and my right knee gave way…and the best doctors told me that though I would walk and everything, there was just no ballet anymore in store for me…"

I felt him watching me as I kept on.

"It was hurtful and…very strange. It's just I didn't remember the time in my life when I wasn't a ballet-dancer. And this feeling of not knowing who you are anymore and what to do next is very…odd…weird not in the good way."

I felt Kelly lightly squeezing my hand. I looked at him and smiled sadly. I've never told it to anyone…well a lot of people knew the story in facts, some of my friends and a shrink my therapist had assigned knew half-truths but…I've never felt the need or want to tell anybody how I felt inside. And here I was spilling the guts to the man I've known less than a month.

"So when my body was ready to go back into the world of walking people I decided to stick with what I could do best if there would be a chance for me in that area. One of my ex-teachers at the ballet Academy, Jonathan, opened his own Studio a couple years back and after receiving the news about what happened offered me a job. So I took it."

"I'm sorry." He said after a pause.

"Don't be." I bumped into his solid form lightly that made him half-smile. "It could have been much worse. I appreciate the ability to walk much more now! So, I guess, it turned out pretty well."

"I couldn't agree more." He raised our clasped hands and kissed my knuckles.

_Yeah, like a schoolgirl really._ Was all I could think.

"So what's your story, Firefighter?" I asked as we rounded the corner.

"There's not exactly a story behind it all." He chuckled. "It's probably one of the universal things in my life – something that has always been there."

"And no other options?" I grinned. "Except for being a hero?"

Kelly chuckled again as we stopped at a small café in the side street I didn't exactly noticed we aimed for.

"Yes, just being a hero for you." He opened the door for us.

-\-

"Let me think…" Kelly took a sip from what was his third coffee refill. "Well, the three of us came to the station around the same time: me, Andy and Matt. Andy and I were there for each other ever since we were kids, we decided to become firefighters together. Me and Matt, on the other hand, hit it off with this rivalry…a friendly one… and Andy became the catalyst."

"So you and Matt are typical frienemies?"

"Frienemies? What are you, fourteen?!" He sneered good-naturally.

"Oh! Don't insult my fourteen years, they weren't a bunch of laughs itself." I finished off the glass of water that came with the coffee.

"You were a nerd?" He asked, smirking.

"No." I dragged the 'o'. "Not exactly."

"A first class nerd?"

This time I grinned before answering.

"I guess, I was more of a loner."

"I would never believe that!"

"Well, please, do. Kids in school tend to get mean. I didn't want to be in the middle of gossiping and all that jazz, so, my guess, it was a self-preservation thing. Plus training, rehearsals…that didn't exactly leave me much time for any social life. But you seem to be one of those kids…the prom king?"

"Thanks, but no, thanks!" Kelly frowned. "A sport junkie."

I inhaled with my lips dramatically:

""I should of guessed!"

"Am I that predictable?"

"No…" And I let my voice get just a little bit dreamy. "I guess, to me you're anything but…predictable."

-\-

I was desperately trying to scratch on my left hand but Kelly's big paw was on my shoulder which made the so-desirable action impossible. I had a feeling he knew all about my intentions.

We were a five minute walk from the bar where the firehouse crew was meeting for drinks when I asked something that has been on mind for some time.

"Do you…do you think this is normal?"

"What is?" He answered with a glance dawn at me.

"This thing between us." My voice was soft so that he wouldn't get a wrong impression. "I almost don't know you but somehow…"

"Don't." He stopped and turned to me. I noted that his voice was equally soft as I gazed up at him, my lips slightly parted. "Don't overthink this. I've never had anything like this too."

"But I don't know if how I'm reacting is right. That…" I bit on my bottom lip.

"You're doing fine." In my thoughtful pause the joke was almost lost to me. Almost. We started laughing. "No, really, I think we're doing more than fine. I've never had relationships before but if they look like this I'm starting to regret it."

I punched him with my good arm in the stomach…or in his case a pack of hard muscles. Kelly pretended to be wounded for a second but caught my arm and pulled me closer to him, sneaking his other arm to the small of my back.

"So I say we go with the flow." He closed the distance between us and covered my lips with his after adding almost inaudibly. "Pixie."

My protests were lost in a kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

A\N – Dear readers, thank you to everyone who's reading the story and special thanks to those who leave reviews! Please_**, take notice**_ that this chapter contains some sexual content. I decided not to move the whole story to M-rated but just be warned there would be some heave sexual prelude later in the chapter. Also, this chapter is a bit bigger as I wanted you to have a good idea of what's been going on as there has been a little time gap.

Enjoy,

Yours, Roadway Fox.

**ONE MONTH LATER**

In a month that has passed since the night Kelly first met me after my evening classes in the Dance Studio a lot of things have happened: my hand almost healed, well there were marks from the burn but I didn't wear bandages anymore; my sleeping pattern got much better, it's not that I stopped waking up in the middle of the night – I still did that but at least I was getting some sleep; our relationships with the Squad 3 Lieutenant were gaining pace real fast…

Acknowledging the fact that neither of us have had a serious relationships or at least a stable one…well, never, we decided to take it slowly. Meaning we saw each other almost every day, had dinners together, I stepped by the station for lunch a couple times, even went to the movies ones as a normal couple would do but we weren't exactly thrilled so mutually decided to withdraw this activity out of our schedule. We spent a lot of time at my place for Kelly's was occupied by two "very loud lesbians who make sure you sleep with your head under the pillow" he once said and I smirked trying to picture him buried in pillows and blankets while Leslie and Annie were hitting it off in the next room. But however picturesquely annoyed Kelly tried to imposter himself to be, I could see that he could never be truly angry with Leslie, she was his roommate, his friend and justly his female counterpart.

We kissed and did some other things that make me blush deeper than I thought imaginable even thinking about them but as we decided to take the thing between us slowly Kelly has never stayed the night at my place. I have to admit it started to get really hard not to notice all the tension that was raising even more every time I would catch him during the lunch break at the station right after the shower shirtless with damp hair…I could swear he caught me staring that time. Every time he kissed me goodnight I could feel the slow burn inside of me grow, by the smolder in his eyes and his attempts to escape quickly until he gives in, I could detect that it was as hard for him as it was for me…maybe even harder.

-\-

December 14th was a very cold day and even colder evening. And it was Matthew Casey's birthday. He and Hallie's apartment was crowded. There weren't too many people invited but the two-room apartment still didn't seem enough.

When we stopped in front of the door Kelly used his massive fist to knock and I, with my eyebrows knitted in a mocking manner, raised my small (especially in comparison to his) hand and rang the doorbell.

"Show-off." He hit me slightly on the butt making me jump a little and laugh.

The door opened to reveal goofily grinning Matt:

"Well, well…the Elite Squad is fashionably late."

"No!" I almost cried, still laughing. "It was my fault. I'm a girl with no watch in her house!"

"Fine!" He was quick to agree. "You I can't stay mad at. Come on in!"

I felt Kelly push me in a little with his hand on the small of my back. I stepped inside the apartment and enclosed Matt in a big hug right away, whispering "Happy Birthday!". He hugged me back and let me go further into their home. I heard Kelly congratulate him as well and hand Casey our present. That was actually pretty big – not the present! – the fact that he and I chose and bought our first present as a couple. I've never understood why girls always remembered the anniversaries, firsts and all. I did start to understand it then. It was truly something very intimate and delightful.

Saying 'hi' to our friends in the living room, I turned to show Kelly silently that I'd be right back and went straight to what I presumed was kitchen.

The food smelled delicious, at least the half that was still on the kitchen counter (the rest was already placed on the table in the living area). My eyes scanned the room to find Hallie and Heather, Andy's wife, making the last preparations, both very pretty in their light-colored dresses.

"Hey!" I said loudly as I adjusted my own knee-length grey dress. "Smells amazing! You've done such a great job, Hallie!"

The hostess turned and smiling came up to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek:

"Hi, Harper. So good you came!"

"Hi!" I heard Heather greet me but she stayed at the counter, slicing something.

"I'm ashamed to admit…" Hallie spilled a little downcast. "But I can't cook at all!"

My face became a mask of confusion.

"I ordered almost everything! I' m really very bad at cooking! I mean, once I burned a chicken…and when I say burn, I mean that one more minute and Matt could use his fire putting out skills on it… So I decided to be on a safe way."

She was rambling and it was very cute.

"Hey, I'm sure no one will notice and Matt will greatly appreciate all the afford."

"Harper's absolutely right!" We heard Heather from the counter.

During the past month I came to know Hallie a little better and she appeared to be a pretty good person. I still was rooting for the Team Gabriela but I couldn't deny that Halliy was more than nice. And the way she worried herself about her and Matt's relationships was very sweet.

"What can I help with?"

"Nothing really." Hallie answered going back to her spot near Heather. "Rest, go watch over the boys!"

She smiled and I nodded, exiting back into the living room. The room itself was pretty big with two leather chairs and a matching couch overlooking a TV, a what looked like two tables moved together so everyone would have a seat, in the middle surrounded by chairs. The food was already on the table and I could see the eyes of hungry men as they were impatiently gazing at the goods but weren't brave enough to break the taboo the hostess of the evening had put to wait for everyone to sit and only then start eating.

Kelly, Matt and Andy were in the opposite corner eagerly discussing something, Cruz and Otis were near the window engulfed in their own conversation. I spotted Herrmann on the couch and made my way directly to him. The man had a soft spot for me, everyone remarked it.

"Here's my second favorite firefighter!" I smiled a big one at him, taking a sit next to him.

"Hey! Who's the first one?" He smiled toothily at me. "Oh, wait, I know! Cruz."

"How did you guess?" I played his game.

"Isn't it obvious? You look at each other when no-one see you!"

"Busted."

Chris laughed along with me and gave me a half-hug as a manner of greeting.

"Lose the hand, old man!" They heard Kelly's voice, trying to sound intimidating but cracking at the end of the sentence.

"That old man is gonna show you when we're back at the station!"

The friendly banter went on all through the evening.

-\-

It wasn't my first time in Kelly's house but it seemed that way. Maybe because I was slightly tipsy, maybe because there was no Leslie for the night, maybe because I was strangely excited.

It was an extremely long way to my apartment, the one I wasn't ecstatic to undergo at that moment so both Kelly and I decided that it would be better for us to crash at his place which was at least half-way.

"I think, this should fit."

I turned from the large living room window to face Kelly who was holding up a big t-shirt, his size of course.

"Fit? As a tent?" I mused.

"You can sleep naked if you want. I wouldn't mind." He smirked and knew he won that round.

"I'll change in your room." I chuckled softly and took a fabric from him, touching his hands lightly as I did so.

But it was easier said than done. The zipper of the dress on my back went all the way down my spine and lower till it almost reached my knees. But then I felt a piece of my hair getting caught in that zipper as I tried to pull it down.

"Ouch…"

"You ok in there?" I heard Kelly from the bathroom.

"Well…the zipper seems to be against some of my actions…and hints that if I don't stop I'm risking baldness!" I tried not to move for fear of my words coming true.

"Need my help?"

"Sure, if you don't fancy dating soldier Jane."

I heard him enter the room as I stood my back to him, waiting.

"Jane wasn't that bad." He said in that sexy whisper near my ear and I felt those two glasses of champagne I've had at Matt's party started playing with my thoughts.

As Kelly's hands started their work on my neck I shivered involuntarily and felt the muscles on my back do a double take.

His hands were gentle, pushing my hair away slightly and battling with the closer, in a matter of mare seconds I was released from the chain that was my zipper as he dragged it to the middle of my back, exposing the pale skin underneath the gray material of the dress:

"There you go."

"And most of hair is still intact! You can still officially be my hero."

I laughed slightly but as I turned my head to look at his eyes, there was no humor there but that intense look that always made my stomach flip flop.

Kelly's hands were still on my arms, running up and down, making my emotions high-lighten from the feeling of severe closeness. I opened my mouth to say something but realized that it was dry. He was looking at me with his foggy grey eyes and I could see the green in them sparkle up as they drifted to my lips.

_Oh-oh…_apparently when Kelly came to help me with the zipper problem he was changing himself hence the shirtless-ness.

I slowly turned in his arms, my hands firmly but gently coming to rest on his toned stomach. I stood up on my tip toes and using one of my hands pulled at his neck to lower his head to my level. He obliged immediately and as our lips touched I felt our mutual hunger, that has been building up with a rapid speed for the previous couple weeks, pour out in the kiss.

I sucked on his bottom lip as I felt his hands on my back pull me even closer so that our bodies collided. Our tongues endured in a battle for dominance though I was just massing around, knowing that I would cave in and he would lead. After all that's what he was always – in the firehouse, in the company of friends, in our relationships – he was a true leader…fearless, daring, brave.

As we broke apart for air and he still didn't lose his iron grip on my waist I clanged to him even more if that was even possible.

Kelly looked at me with his eyes blurred with hunger and passion.

"We have to stop now if…we want to stop." His voice was a series of tense undertones.

_If. _But that moment I felt all my thoughts flow out of the window that just left me and Kelly in the room. Me, Kelly and our unfulfilled desires…yet unfulfilled.

His hands slowly but with a certain amount of pressure circled my back and I felt myself becoming liquid. I was on edge and relaxed at the same time as my hands started creeping up his naked chest and to his broad shaulders. My lips reached the left side of his lower jaw and I softly kissed it. Not stopping I started the chain of small burning kisses on his neck, reaching his collarbone and biting it teasingly.

Receiving a low growl I felt myself suddenly being lifted up and as I inhaled sharply from surprise and my legs encircled Kelly's torso, he carried me to the bed as if I didn't weigh a thing, kissing and sucking on my neck all the way.

As he put me on the king-sized bed with light-colored covers, my eyes found his and that was all the confirmation he needed.

His hands reached behind my back and agonizingly slow pulled the zipper down…


	9. Chapter 9

A\N – Another leap in time! I'm just trying not to get you lost in the every-day routine and show the high-lights of Kelly\Harper. Plus right now my goal is to demonstrate their relationship and how they progress to the point when the TV show begins so we could all catch up with the time!

Drop me a line or two – make my day:)

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

The winters in Chicago are cold: snow, ice, wind. People put on layers of sweaters and scarfs to get themselves a little bit warmer. And although I usually felt very chilly during the season, this winter was something completely different. My heart felt affection and it flattered faster than any other winter before that one of 2011-2012. It sent thrill and warmth all over me…and I trembled every time.

Thinking back on those three blissful months I get the impression that we were living in a bubble where only we, Kelly and Harper, existed: sometimes we took strolls away from it but never quiet left it. The problems outside were either ignored or not acknowledged.

Kelly and I didn't officially live together but a major amount of his stuff was at my apartment. Some of mine were over at his and Leslie's house. After that night in December it was safe to say that our relationships evolved in more ways than one: physical connection made us closer and as the tension ceased we relaxed into our life together.

March was coming to an end and an anxious feeling in my stomach settled. I wasn't sure if it was due to the Blackpool contest Jonathan had coaxed me to agree to participate in but I was feeling sickly nervous.

Jen has always told me that I had a good intuition…unfortunately, she was right.

-\-

"Good morning, grumpy!" I sing-sang as I was moving around the kitchen in one of Kelly's big t-shirts, my feet secure in uggs.

"Morning." He mumbled and I handed him a cup of coffee as he stepped within my reach.

Kelly avidly took several gulps and putting the cup on the kitchen island proceeded to consume me in a tight embrace.

"Ohh, suddenly someone is waky-waky." I teased and my left hand that was not holding a big spoon I had used to mix eggs, cream, cheese and tomatoes, pushed up along the toned muscles of his back.

He planted a soft kiss on my shoulder that was sticking out of his enormous shirt and let me get back to the stove.

"What are you making?" Kelly asked, taking a seat on the other side of the island and pouring two glasses of orange juice from the jug I've taken out of the fridge.

"Omelet! And toasts with fried bacon!"

"What's the occasion?" Kelly jabbed lightheartedly.

"That's it! No bacon for you, mister!" I poked the air with the spoon in his direction as if his massive chest was right on the other end of my kitchen weapon.

"Don't be cranky! Too early for you." He humored. "But seriously. You're not the one to wake up and make breakfasts, usually coffee is your limit."

"Well…" I put his plate with eggs, toast and bacon, salt and paper on the tray and made my way to the kitchen island. "I do feel a little guilty because of all the late-night rehearsals at the Studio that are taking all of my time…and that I come home exhausted."

I put the plate in front of Kelly and came to rest on his right so that his hand would instantly find its way to circle my waist as he looked up at me, holding me closer.

"I promise, I'll tell Jonathan that I need some air and after Blackpool all of this is gonna stop."

"I know it's important for you. And yeah I don't exactly like you spending so much time with this Jonathan guy but…" He left the thought unfinished but I understood what he was saying.

I smiled and kissed him deeply before untangling myself from Kelly and looking pointedly at the food:

"Dig in! I didn't cook all of this for nothing!"

"Aren't you gonna eat?" He asked seeing me pouring some milk into the mug of coffee with the words _My Boyfriend is a Firefighter _printed on it, a gift from Jen, she thought it was hilarious.

"You know I'm not the greatest eater in the morning."

"You're not an eater at all!" Kelly kept working on his omelet. "All the time that we've been together I don't think I've ever seen you having a normal portion of normal food."

I narrowed my eyes, uneasiness that I tried to conceal, settled in the pit of my stomach:

"I usually have a big lunch to last me the whole day. You and I just don't have lunches together so you're denied the happiness of seeing me devouring on something big and delicious."

"M-hmm…" He mumbled still busy with his breakfast and I realized that the subject thankfully was dropped. But something told me that he wasn't convinced. "This is so-o-o good. Your loss."

"I'm sure!" I swallowed a big gulp of coffee and sighed.

-\-

"I'm tired, Jonathan…" I hanged the towel I've used to put away the sweat from my neck on the chair near the mirror wall.

The man in question straitened his shaulders and looked directly at me, his clear piercing blue eyes boring into mine.

Jonathan Pierce was tall and lean and as any men who've been dancing professionally the better part of their life had exceptionally athletic body. Defined calves and thighs, a long straight torso and lean muscular arms – a physique of a true ballet dancer. And Jonathan embodied it all – the nature and the spirit of ballet – and transformed what he knew into a new form of art – a contemporary dance.

"One more time."

I turned to the wall which was covered in mirrors leading to his eyes following me even with my back to the man.

I inspected myself unintentionally. Black leggings, big grey socks, a black wife-beater and a thin pinkish grey sweater that hung loosely over one shoulder showing a clearly sticking out bone of the said shaulder. I had grey circles under my eyes…that actually matched the color of the sweater so I was not just a mass but a fashionable one. My hair was slightly sticking out from the massy bun on the top of my head to complete the look.

I sighed.

"How did we stand you at the academy?"

Jonathan threw his head back and laughed.

"I knew you all hated me." He said in his reach English accent. "But I made great and wonderful dancers out of the shapeless bodies that you were."

"That you did." I agreed for that was the truth.

"One more time, Harper, and we'll call it a night." His voice was steady and calm and held the authority within it; Jonathan turned to rewind the track on the laptop that was connected to the speakers throughout the room.

I sighed and composed myself. My knee was hurting but I took two steps forward and lay down on the floor in the dimly lit studio and waited for Alexa Goddard's cover for Snow Patrol's "Run" to start playing.

In a contemporary dance one of the most important things is a story that you're telling. Our story was about a woman who decided to commit a suicide and with her last breath she's willing to tell her lover last words. Those words Jonathan converted in a dance. A beautiful very difficult but a breathtaking dance. A confession of a woman to a man.

In that dance it seemed like all the elements took its perfect place in space and time: bodies that contracted and hinged, sudden sinkings and almost instantaneous rises, sashays across a stage. Jonathan's hands were experienced, his posture expressive; and for a moment I let myself get lost in the atmosphere for it reminded me of what I've lost forever: the center stage.

The music came to its last accord as we stopped pace and Jonathan carefully lowered me back to the floor where I was situated at the start of the routine.

Neither of us noticed a pair of grey eyes watching our every move from the darkness of the hall.


	10. Chapter 10

A\N: Your reviews are the best motivation! Remember that!

It was around midnight when I got home, tired and exhausted.

"Kelly!" There was no answer.

It was strange because he said he would be at my place around ten. I checked the apartment – no sign. I than checked my phone for missed calls or texts. Nothing.

I pushed fingertips to the screen a couple times and pulled the phone to my ear. Kelly didn't answer his phone.

Frustrated I repeated the action with the other number.

"Hello." A hushed sleepy voice of Andy answered.

"Andy, hey, it's Harper. Sorry for calling so late. It's just that I can't find Kelly and he's not answering the phone, thought maybe he was with you."

"No, sorry." He seemed to get out of bed and leave the room, probably not to wake Heather up. "Have you called Shay?"

"Not yet. I really hoped he was with you."

"Don't worry yet, ok? Call Shay and I'll reach Matt. I'll call you if there is any news. But I'm sure everything's fine."

"Ok. Thanks, Andy."

"No problem." He hung up.

I called Leslie but no success there as well.

So I did the only thing that I could think of: I poured myself a glass of juice from the fridge and without taking of my coat dropped asleep on the couch.

-\-

I heard the noise through my slumber and the back of my mind told me that I needed to open my eyes. That I did and was met with a slightly uncoordinated movement from a dark figure in the hall that was cursing all through the way under their breath.

As every drunk man Kelly's main prerogative was to reach the closest sleeping spot – the couch. I bet on that. And was right. He stumbled on a pair of my shoes, cursed again (this time a little louder and much more R-rated) and proceeded to fall on the couch, still having no idea that I was there. When his head hit my lap with a force of a stone he jerked to the sitting position.

"What the hell?!"

"Had a good night?" My voice was calm sliced with hints of uncovered sarcasm.

"Harper, why the hell are you here?" He asked annoyed, using two fingers of his right hand to massage his eyes.

He was still wearing the leather jacket and smelled vividly of vodka. I looked at him and tried to put a place in my mind where him coming home in that state was normal.

"I live here."

"I meant on the couch." Another irritated answer.

"What's wrong, Kelly?" I stood up and in a swift movement turned the lamp on the on the small glass table to my right on.

He roared as the light hit his sore eyes.

"Right now it's the too bright light!" He was acting like a child – only a very big vodka-influenced one – and I started to get angry.

I took off my coat and tossed it on the couch.

"What's your problem?" He complained as my outwear offended his leg on the way.

"Geez…let me think about it." I pretended to be thoughtful even going as far as putting a hand to my chin to look like I was deep in thought, earning a glare from Kelly. "I come home, you're not here. It's late and I'm worried. You don't pick up your phone, no one knows where you are! Oh…and wait for it…you show up in the middle of the night drunk!"

"What I don't have a right to drink with a friend anymore?"

I shook my head and crossed my hands on my chest:

"Drink all you want. This is not about drinking…it's about the fact that I didn't know if you were alright and I was worried. And you seem to not give a shit about it."

"Like you had the time…" His voice was law and callous.

"Excuse me?" I tilted my head to look at him in confusion.

He rose from the couch discarding his jacket and tossing it carelessly next to mine. His eyes were humorless and I couldn't see the greens behind the stormy grey in them. As he neared me the still strong scent of alcohol hit my nostrils and I cringed slightly.

"I mean you were so busy with your…choreographer…I'm surprised you had the time for anything else." His words were venomous and he said "choreographer" like he was cutting the poor letters with a knife.

My head was beginning to split with sudden headache and his breath intensely stung my senses.

"What in a God's name are you talking about?" I asked and felt my powers decreasing due to overall tiredness though my anger was still pretty much present.

"I'm talking about the man you said was the head of the studio and your ex-teacher. But you never mentioned that he had hots for you and that he actually danced with you!" Kelly's voice though still low possessed the harshness I've never heard there before that night.

I looked him in the eye even more torn and confused.

"What?"

"I saw you tonight."

"You were at the studio?" I think I stopped understanding the happening somewhere along the way.

"I came by to take you home. You were dancing with him. The way he looks at you with his eyes all over you and then he dances with you…"

I took a deep breath to calm myself. Kelly was still hovering over me when I finally answered:

"Jonathan is my mentor and my employer. Nothing more and nothing less."

"Tell me you don't see that he wants you." Kelly uttered and his hands gripped my arms.

He wasn't hurting me but there would be marks in the morning; I knew he wouldn't act like that if this conversation would be taking place with him sober.

"He doesn't act on his supposed attraction and this is enough for me."

We endured in the staring match until I added, bothered by the thought:

"Why are you having this jealousy fiesta? Don't you trust me at all?"

"Because, truthfully, I love you and I don't want some English prevent to touch you at all or any other man for that matter." And there it was. Like a flash of lightning. I was looking at him and in his angry rambling and he didn't even seem to realize that it was the first time ever that he said he loved me. The declaration that was supposed to bring me joy and make my heart melt, reconstruct itself and then melt again two times faster was just a piece of argument aimed to let the man in front of me win the race I didn't want to be a part of in the first place.

But I was too angry, too tired and call me selfish but I wanted this confession to be made properly and not in the heat of a fight when he didn't even acknowledge what he had said.

I looked down for a minute trying to pull myself together. Then I lowered Kelly's hands from my arms slowly and looked at him again but my eyes were a void.

"We'll have this conversation tomorrow if you still want to have it by then." I said quietly. "Can you sleep on the couch tonight?"

I didn't know if he answered, I turned and walked to the bedroom closing the door behind me.


	11. Chapter 11

_A\N – Alright, guys, this AN isn't about the story, sorry. But I just want us all to take a minute and send our prayers to all the people who're still fighting the consequences of what Sandy has brought and all the people who work to help with the outcomes of this awful tragedy. Thank you._

-\-

When I woke up Kelly wasn't there.

I stood up from the bed, grabbed a robe and headed for the shower to wash away the unpleasant taste that was left from the previous night. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy.

Kelly's raging jealousy and anger and the fact that apparently he had strong possessiveness and jealousy issues unsettled me more than I first thought.

Also there was a small detail that he said that he loved me and I didn't answer. I didn't answer not because I didn't love him. That feeling on the contrary was nudging all over me and my insides were itching to spill the beans. I didn't say anything because I wasn't even sure he'd remember any of his own words in the morning and if he would, there would still be a question if he really meant them or said it just in the fever of the argument.

Looking down I caught a sight of two small bruises on my left arm where Kelly was holding my yesterday. They didn't hurt, they just made me feel unpleasant. Stroking the skin there a couple times as if trying to wash them away, I finally recognized what I was doing and, sighing, proceeded with the rest of my shower routine.

In reality it was our first major fight, of course it was meant to happen sooner or later but with the way things have been between us I'd dared to hope that maybe there was a chance we could skip the fighting part. I didn't like fighting, I didn't like sleeping without Kelly at night, I didn't like not waking up to see him off in the morning and I most certainly didn't like the feeling of vacuum the empty apartment created around me.

The hot water coming down on me didn't erase anything. We still had a fight, he still spent the night on the couch, we were yet to reconcile.

It was around eleven and still no word from Kelly. I know that probably I was supposed to be above every jab of his and just pick up the phone and call him but something stopped me. Pride? Maybe. But I couldn't deny that a little voice deep inside whispering that I wasn't a hundred percent right too. I knew all about Jonathan's feelings for me…ever since our Academy years. But he's never let those feelings determine any of his actions and I let myself stay blissfully ignorant to them. Was it a right choice? I don't know. I never questioned it before. Instead Kelly did it for me.

As an alternative to calling and making up I let the day flow slowly on its own accord: I cleaned the apartment (vacuumed the floor and washed the dishes from Kelly's breakfast – the only cue that he'd spent the night), had a lunch with Jen and before making my way to the Studio dropped by the cleaners.

I had two classes starting at five. They went by in a heartbeat probably because my thoughts were still elsewhere. I stayed after the last students emerged from the class to run through the Blackpool routine myself.

It was about two hours later that my phone started ringing. Coming up to my bag to find it, I was sure it would be Kelly. But no, it was Matt.

I looked at the ID surprised a little before putting the receiver to my ear.

"Hey, Matt."

"Harper," Matt's voice was tensed and uneasy, that moment I knew something was terribly wrong. "Listen, I need you to stay calm."

I froze and didn't answer.

"We had an accident on the call. It's Kelly. We're in the hospital right now…"

I didn't cry when Kevin Moore in seventh grade was keeping my books hidden for a whole week, or when I first felt my toes being basically tattered by the pointes, or when I was told after the accident that I would never a ballerina again…but the moment Matt was telling me the details of the accident as softly as he could, the tears started rushing freely from my eyes. My breathing caught in my throat and I almost dropped my cell. I really couldn't breathe. As if the physical act itself suddenly became a rocket science.

The feelings I was experiencing was such an unexplored territory for me that having them overcome me all at once just made it seem like the ground beneath my feet was slowly but surely swimming away.

As fast as the feelings rushed upon me, they flew away or stopped for that matter. I gulped a breath of much needed air and hurried into action, hanging the phone on the way.

When I dashed into the hospital and turned into the direction of the waiting rooms, my heart started beating what seemed like ten times faster. The questions of 'what if' flying in and out of my head, confusing me and wounding my certainty.

Gabriela was the first one to see me. She rushed from her spot near Leslie right away and stopped in front of me, searching my haunted eyes.

"It's gonna be ok," She said, trying to seem unquestionable. Then she hugged me tightly. "He's gonna be fine."

My hands were limp at my sides and I didn't even try to reciprocate the hug. When the dark-skinned paramedic pulled away I noticed Matt and Andy stepping closer to us. The rest of the team with Chief Boden was watching the exchange from their seats.

"Do you want to know how it happened?" Matt asked and I finally realized just how battered, both physically and emotionally, he looked.

"No." My voice was a harsh whisper and my hands were shaking. "What are the doctors saying?"

"He's in surgery now. They are not exactly saying anything yet." Andy stepped in, he had a nasty cut on his left eyebrow that even having been treated was still bleeding, marking the butterfly strip with reddish stain. "It's his hand. He was crushed by a girder."

I nodded, my hands still shaking. Gabriela pulled me in the direction of the chairs.

I halted for a second and looked at the two:

"You ok?"

They nodded sluggishly and Andy squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. Gaby and I proceeded to the vacant places. On the way I caught the Chief looking at me intently with something appreciative and sad in his eyes, then he just nodded at me and went back to gazing at the ceiling, going back to his own thoughts.

If you think waiting isn't the worst thing in life you're wrong. Waiting is one of the worst things someone can undergo. My head was a void of thoughts, my heart was aching, food and coffee that Gabriela was trying to put into me disgusted me, though I did accept a bottle of water from Chris.

The only thing that would've made sense in that waiting room with green colored walls was if the time has stopped and the hands of the clocks were not moving any more. In my mind that would be the only explanation why no one would tell as any news.

It's been two hours and my head was on Gaby's shoulder when the doctor in green scrubs and exhibiting a stoic unreadable expression on his face came into our view.

Everybody stood up.

"Mr. Severide's surgery went well. There were no complications. We fixed the inner and tissue damage to his shoulder and upper arm but there still has to pass some time to know for sure if there's any permanent damage. There's a long way to go till the full recovery with physical and medication therapy but I would call it a success. He's still sleeping from the anesthesia but should be awake any time soon."

There were sighs of relief and light-hearted little laughs with Chris and Capp going as far as high-fiving each other.

"Can I see him?" I asked still unconvinced. I had a feeling that I wouldn't believe in anything unless I saw him.

"Are you a family, miss?" The doctor asked.

I opened my mouth to explain but Casey interrupted me with a stone expression:

"Yes, she is. She's his fiancée."

"Then follow me." He turned to show me the way.

I nodded at Matt who nodded back. Gaby gripped my hand harder one more time and released it so I could follow the doctor.

The room was dimly lighted. On one side of the bed there were machines that weren't beeping but mostly showing some diagrams. There was a table with medications, a small couch and a chair near the other side of the bed.

It was hard for me to look at him. Kelly was lying on the bed on his back. His right arm and a part of his shoulder firmly bandaged, there were small barely visible cuts on his neck and right cheek, bruises covered the visible part of his arm with his chest slightly bruised as well. Some tubes were sticking out from his collarbone near the place where it collided with the bandages. It was funny how even in a hospital bed he didn't look weak or vulnerable.

I sat on the chair and took his healthy hand in between two of mine.

"The doctors say you're gonna be alright." I started with a soft but weak voice. "You know, you took my breath away today. Really. When Matt told me what happened I…couldn't breathe. I think I just couldn't bear the thought of something happening to you. I mean, I realized all the dangers of your job, what you're doing but until today…today it became so real…"

My voice was breaking and I was aware of that.

"When I was in a cab I kept thinking that what if something went wrong and the last thing I told you was 'could you sleep on the couch tonight?'…"

I wiped the tears with my thumb.

"I don't want to imagine my life without you. There's just no life without you…not any more. I do love you. I have for some time now. That is if you had doubts about it…"

My mind almost didn't register the pressure on my hand and my eyes went wide as soon as I felt it again.

"Hey." I said softly and one of my hands reached to stroke Kelly's hair.

He opened his eyes. Once, twice…blinking a couple more times he seemed to gain his consciousness back fully.

"Hey." His voice was drained and raspy.

"How are you feeling?" the traces of concern were painted all over my face and I couldn't cease them even a little.

"Like I've been crushed by a girder."

That made me chuckle.

"No, it was a school bus."

He tried to chuckle too but it didn't go that well since his muscles were aching and too much pressure cursed pain.

"You're a smart ass, Pixie."

A tear fell freely down my cheek. I've never thought that there would be a day when I'd be longing to hear him call me Pixie. He reached to wipe the tear away but I caught his hand half-way.

"I love you."

"I already know that." He said in the same raspy voice, a little smile gracing his features. "I'm not such a heavy sleeper."

"I'd hit you right now but I'm afraid I'd be banished from the hospital." I smiled. "All this hospital rules nonsense."

"I love you too." He said and squeezed my hand a little harder like he never wanted to let go as I saw him drifting to sleep slowly.

"Yeah." I whispered softly and gently kissed the back of his hand not letting go. "I already know that."


	12. Chapter 12

A\N – A little Thank You line to all of you who's reading the story and doesn't forget to review! My mood just goes rocket high every time I read your opinions and thoughts! Thank you for reading and…enjoy the next chapter!

-\-

Two weeks after Kelly's release from the hospital the things got pretty much back to normal. Besides the fact that Mr. Severide seemed to think that he knew better than any doctor what was good for him and when he's fully healed. Kelly though going to physical therapy unquestionably and on schedule decided that it was time for him to go back to work. He had to change his mind after a long talk with his doctor, physician, Chief Boden, Andy and Leslie. And me. The similarity in opinions of everyone who had a vote in the matter must have cooled him down because he chilled the fever and his attention jumped the other direction, for example meeting me after my classes - that involved him coming up to the studio, smirking at Nora shamelessly flirting with him and very publically kissing me 'hello' in front of Jonathan and the other dancers basically marking his territory. Andy and Matt were frequent guests at our place, the Chief stepped by couple times.

Taken as a whole Kelly wasn't the best patient but I didn't exactly expect more from him in that department. Jen mentioned something along the lines of and I quote: "The man seriously doesn't know how to be ill! There are just so many possibilities! Come to think about it, he could make you dress up a slutty nurse. Or cook him all his favorite food…in a slutty cook outfit! Or…" I ordered her not to put the ideas in the head where they didn't belong. Though I did like the dressing up idea…for some other time.

-\-

It was Tuesday in the mid of April when Kelly with me under his good shoulder entered the Firehouse 51.

"So…Is it true that you're being lazy dogs while I'm on vacation!" Kelly roared, epicenter-ing the attention of Capp and Hadley.

His two comrades turned to face us and took their time to put two and two together before they finally rushed to their Lieutenant to give him a hug, giving me a squeeze on the shoulder on the way. The room started piling up with the firefighters: Squad 3, Truck 81, their Chief and the paramedics. Leslie gave her friend and extra-hug and Andy enfolded ma in a bear hug.

For someone who's never exactly had a family I found myself a part of one where the members of a said family looked after each other and, though sometimes it was veiled, loved and respected each other greatly.

I clung to Andy a little more, watching Kelly and the rest of the guys, and tried not to let my thoughts affect the smile on my face.

Ten minutes later when the greetings and shouts and hugs mostly died down and the guys dragged Kelly to the kitchen where Matt played the cook I stayed behind with Gaby.

"You ok? You seem distracted." She said, taking a place beside me on the bench.

I looked at her and then let my eyes travel the perimeter of the firehouse. I wasn't searching for anything, I was just looking at things. All the things that were in the visible space: the trucks, equipment, gears…

"I'm late."

From the corner of my eye I saw Gabriela take the information in, her face still calm with a simple small smile.

"Well, that doesn't mean anything…"

"A month."

"Oh."

"Yeah, a month late." I confirmed, clasping my hands together and finally looking back at my friend.

"Did you do the test?" She was as calm as she was before I told her.

I shook my head 'no'.

"Are you…are you sure this is not because of your eating disorder?" Her words rang and I think if I was standing I'd stumbled then and there.

I looked shocked at Gaby.

"What?" She retorted. "We've been friends for at least half a year now and I haven't seen you actually eat normal. While you keep telling everyone who asks that you had a full lunch which is a bull every time. Look, I'm a medic and I do know a thing or two about eating disorders, just don't try to deny that you have one."

There was a pregnant pause.

"I don't." I said at last. "I've had it for years. Since my dancing days. Started off as a diet but…couldn't stop and it became anorexia with all the good stuff: not being able to hold the food down, hunger pains, chronic tiredness. It really did become better…I don't…you know, anymore…I just eat very little and mostly food like fruits, yogurts, vegetables, soups…usually don't eat with somebody else…only when I'm alone."

"I'm trying not to pry." She sighed. "Because you're my friend. And you know how hard for me this not-prying part is. But you have to do something about it. It's definitely not healthy."

I just nodded. I already knew that. But this is something where I was an addict and I'm aware of how small control of a situation I actually have. And if there was any progress at all it was tiny.

"Will you tell Kelly?"

"What exactly?" I huffed. "You know, I might be pregnant which is hilarious because we haven't talked about children, family and all that stuff, and neither of us does have an experience in that field. I don't even know if he wants to have children at all! OR I might just say: My period might just be late because my body functions are screaming at me to start eating like a normal person!"

"Flip a coin?"

I chuckled and nudged her slightly in the ribs. Gaby smirked and we stood up to catch up with the boys in the kitchen.

"Or you could really start eating like a normal person."

Gaby suggested off-handedly, trying the 'not-prying thing' once again. She really wasn't very good at it, I mused. I huffed and she didn't push anymore. The fact that I could still be very much pregnant loomed over our mood.

Casey's food smelled even better than the last time. I wasn't exactly intending to eat that kind of meat but the smell nevertheless caressed my senses.

-\-

I did the test in the evening.

When I exited the bathroom Kelly was laying on the bed reading something on the laptop on his knees. He was unconsciously pulling on his hurt shoulder and I wondered just how much it really still hurt. Though he did try to convince everyone around him that he was almost completely fine I saw the small hints that it wasn't true: when he winced as a result of what seemed like simple actions, when he tried to use the other arm given the opportunity. I only hoped that it was the aftermaths of trauma and were soon to be replaced with the full healing.

I tied my hair in a massy bun and crawled the bed to the side Kelly was sitting on, his legs starched in front of him, back to the headboard, focused on whatever he was reading.

I lay down by his side, carefully snaking his right hand around me and hugging his midsection. I could hear his even breathing and stable heartbeat with my ear firmly pressed to his chest.

"Hey, you." I felt Kelly starting a sequence of circles on my shoulder with his enormous hand.

"Hey you." Came my muffled reply.

Kelly closed the laptop and pushed it off his lap so he could share his full attention with me:

"You ok?"

"Yes. Absolutely." My head moved slightly and found its place in the crook of his neck. "It's just with all that happened this month I can't help but think that you're the first and one man in my life that…that I wanna be with. There's just no one else…you and I just seem to, you know, click together…"

I felt him kiss the top of my head slightly.

"We do click, don't we?" Kelly snickered. "You are my next to kin actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we had to fill the standard papers at work. We do that every year in case anything changes. I guess, I just didn't even give it much thought – it was just completely natural to put your name there. That's if you're ok with it.."

"I'm more than ok with it." I creped a little bit upwards and titled my head so I could see his face. "You're my man. You're my family."

"And you're the woman I never thought I wanted. You're the only one I need. You're the mother of my future children. And my closest friend."

His voice was firm and calm. My eyes watered and I gulped. A small smile crept on my lips as I felt my face getting hotter. I reached and kissed right side of his jaw longingly. Kelly looked at me and as our eyes met, he downed his lips on mine. I closed my eyes and let myself devour in the feeling. I was so protected, cared for and loved that I wished I'd stay that way forever.

"You're the most amazing thing in the universe. At least for me." Kelly's soft voice said.

"Am I really?" I whispered.

"By far."

With his words said at the exact time I needed to hear them Kelly without even knowing what he did wiped away all my fears and insecurities. And I was once again wrapped carefully in a bliss that was him and me.

The pregnancy test was thrown away and lay forgotten in the trash bin. It was negative. But that wasn't the case anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

A\N – Hello, my dear readers! Yet another chapter of Kelly\Harper awesomeness as we slowly approaching the series timeline. Also, I was watching the previous week's episode yesterday when Kelly took Nicky to his room and told her something like "I used to be engaged once too…" and she flew crying down the stairs and out of the show (thank god!). Well, this line just sits so well with my plan for this story, the screenwriters just read my mind!

Also, this chapter is Kelly's perspective on things. I'm trying it out so hope he stays in the character.

Still waiting for your reviews! Everyone who writes me a line can have a cookie! =)

-\-

It's been a month and a half since the release from the hospital and Kelly was beginning to get restless. He didn't have a medical education but was sure that by the time the ache in his arm and shoulder was supposed to be feeling different. He wasn't hurting all the time but the little repulses that regularly occurred were a proof enough that something was wrong.

Visibly his hand was perfectly fine, on the inside – it was all but fine.

With any real applied pressure the pain in the right side of cucullaris was becoming stronger. It was bearable for the time being but Kelly feared that it would just keep getting worse.

All the reasoning kept screaming at him to go see someone about the pain but the little voice in his head was clearly against it. It kept whispering that if there was a permanent damage with a nerve or a deeper tissue there's a possibility that he wouldn't be able to get back to work anytime soon…or at all. And it was something Kelly couldn't afford to suffer.

Kelly looked at the prescribed painkillers in his hand before throwing them into his locker. A couple more days and they'd run out. So not good.

Apart from the doctors, he could try talking to Leslie. She was his roommate, friend…hell, she was him in a woman's body. Leslie probably wouldn't say anything but look at him with her calculating gaze, shake her head and sigh… Kelly decided to leave Leslie as his last resort.

There was Andy, his best friend. They were ready to go through fire (literally) for each other but in matters like this…Kelly was afraid that Andy would be the first one to grab him by the injured hand and drag him to the doctor's office.

Matt, Chief and all the other guys were out of the question.

And of course there was Harper. His beautiful skinny dancer. The woman that he's brought in his life by his own free will and made sure she stayed there. Kelly couldn't count how many women he's had before her and he didn't want to make that list. But from the first second in the burning house to bumping into her in the hospital, to moving in together, to watching her dance gracefully and so feather-like he knew that she has to be in his life. He's never felt like this before her. It's like in one moment there appeared a map of his life and he suddenly knew how he wanted to live it. All of a sudden he wasn't afraid of responsibility or long-term commitments, didn't want different women every night but rather wanted to come back to Harper every evening. There were bumps on the road, take his jealousy for one. That one came as surprise for himself more than for others. He was never that kind of guy, never felt that overwhelming possessiveness…maybe because he's never held anything so precious to him, he's never really had anything to lose. The new feeling did the trick and he exploded in the situation with Jonathan.

But as the smoke settled his relationships with Harper seemed to become as strong as ever. They loved each other and were ready to stand by one another whatever happened.

Kelly was worried that Harper would notice his winces and small movements of pain but she either thought that they were the aftermath of the injury or didn't notice them full force because she was preoccupied with the dancing contest and he was a pretty good actor if needed.

So in the end Kelly was determined to keep the ache in his hand to himself…at least for the time being. He would have time to react if he felt it necessary.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Kelly turned from his desk to look at Casey, his bag in hand ready to depart home. "I thought you weren't due until tomorrow."

"I'm not." He nodded a half-smile. "Just finishing some paper work."

"Man! You'll have time for that! Go home to your girl. It's not like we get enough time with our women." Matt took a look at the clock on the wall inwardly.

"She actually told me to 'go take a walk for an hour or two'." Kelly stood up and took his jacket in one hand, checking for the car keys in its pocket in the process, and switching the lamp with the other.

Matt's eyebrows went up suggestively.

"I can only hope so!" Kelly smirked. "Very much."

"Very much." Casey nodded and laughing patted his fried on the shoulder roughly but affectionately missing a grimace that appeared on the other man's face just for a second.

-\-

"I'm home. I hope that's enough walking?" Kelly called out loudly, closing the door behind him.

Soft lyrical music was his only answer.

Walking further into the apartment he saw a field of candles. They were everywhere: on the floor, the table, the kitchen island, window seats… The lights were off but the small and big torches lighted the room with dimmed light just enough. The strong smell of honey and vanilla filled his nostrils.

"You should know better living with a firefighter and all that this is fire dangerous…" Kelly said loudly though his smile was speaking volumes.

"Then it's good there are those firefighters everyone keeps talking about here." A sly voice purred from the door.

Kelly's eyebrows flew up as he felt the excitement rush through his body. He didn't step closer choosing to observe from his place near the couch. First there showed up a leg…a lean flawless leg that was conveniently exposed up to the mid-thigh as far as he could tell. As the leg bounced slightly he could see what was covering the upper part of it. And…_oh, God!_...it was his firefighter's coat. Kelly did have his fair share of wild fantasies in which Harper had the most provocative leading roles but never in his life did he dare to hope to act on one. Harper was as far from frigid as he was from becoming a ballerina but they've never talked or hinted about even a little role-play so the surprise was definitely thrillingly welcome.

Harper cocked her head from the bedroom door and her blue eyes scanned her frozen in slight shock boyfriend. She giggled slightly and winked at him, slowly coming out in the open so he could appreciate her efforts.

Kelly's eyes gradually absorbed the woman in front of him the way the art lover first looks at the painting he's been craving to see all his life. Her slender legs, thin waist, breasts hidden behind the black lace lingerie, delicate neck…his coat fell from one of her shoulders. Her hair falling onto her skinny shoulders in waves, the fire from the candle light making them look like chocolate. And her big blue eyes that were looking right back at him with the sparkle Kelly was so happy to see.

As the time passed and their relationships changed, as the "I love you's" were exchanged and the secrets were revealed, their connection became stronger. In a physical sense probably more recognizable. It grew from the initial hunger to appreciating and respecting each other. From the most simple forms of sex to making love.

Kelly took his time watching Harper. Her biting the bottom lip, wrapped in his uniform.

"Well?" She asked finally, nervous about his reaction. "I expected a little more…excitement?"

Kelly smirked and crossed the room with measured steps like a lion would while walking his territory. With one of his hand secured around her waist, Kelly used the other one to slide the coffee-colored strand of hair behind Harper's ear.

"You look very neat." He said finally still smirking.

"I was going for sexy, glamorous, seductive…but I guess, thank you." Harper pushed her full lips together.

"I meant the coat." Kelly's voice sank to the lower tone. "Other parts of your…almost non-existent outfit are just…utmost stimulating."

The corners of her lips curled in a satisfied smirk.

"There was supposed to be a pole dance actually but…there are so many problems with getting the pole in here…"

"I wish you didn't say that…that just breaks my heart." Kelly blew out an imaginary breath of air and Harper laughing hit him on the chest lightly.

"So…." Her small hand was making its way to the bottom of his shirt to pull at its edges when his bigger one caught hers and held it securely with her other hand in front of them.

"Marry me."

Kelly didn't exactly realize how that question sprang out of his mouth but what was even more astonishing: he didn't regret it. Harper meant more than anything or anyone else to him, they were already a family. Kelly felt like he wanted for everyone to know that she belonged with him and him only.

Harper on the other hand was looking at him with eyes three times wider than normal and lips in a perfect 'O'.

"I know, this seems out of the blue but this is right. I want it, I want you to be my wife. I want to make you happy, I want to spend my life making you happy because you complete me and make me a better man…the one I never thought I could be. I…" He stopped for a moment to see Harper still looking at him a mixture of different kinds of amazement on her face. "Say something?"

She blinked. Kelly considered it a good sign. A second prior he was ready to believe she turned into a vegetable.

"Hmm…" Harper cleared her throat. "I just wish I would be wearing more clothes right now."

Joking was even a better sign.

"I don't think there will ever be any other man that I would be willing to spend my life with. I love you." Her voice was gentle as she was squeezing their clasped hands in between them.

"That a yes?" Kelly looked at her for confirmation.

Harper nodded her head smiling softly, tears walling up in her eyes but not falling. "Yes."

Her whisper was all he needed. With her in his arms and in his life he didn't think he could ask more from life. He had his job and the woman he loved agreed to marry him, at the moment Kelly felt truly complete.


	14. Chapter 14

"So, Antonio is interrogating me about you again!" An overly-excited Gabriela materialized in front of me in our favorite spot in a small café in Lincoln Park.

"Antonio?" I furrowed my brows. "As in your older brother Antonio?"

"What other Antonio do you know?"

I looked at her matter-of-factly.

"Yes, brooding skeleton, my brother! Anyway, this is not the first time he's been asking me if you're single." The waitress came up and the paramedic shifted her attention for a moment. "I'll have a chicken sandwich and a coke, thanks."

"A mixed salad and a black coffee for me, thank you." I added and the waitress with a name tag Clarissa nodded and left with our order.

"Another one of your full lunches?" Gaby looked at me pointedly.

"You're on fire today!" I said unamused. "You were saying..."

"Oh, yes. Antonio seems to be really taken by you. I told him you have a boyfriend but that doesn't make his interest in you any less."

"Well you can tell him I'm engaged. Maybe that'll help." I smiled secretly.

"He's a cop, he'll know I'll be lying." Gaby dismissed the thought with her hand waving through the air.

"Then don't lie." I smiled again.

Gabriela looked at me questionably for a moment and then gasped, one of her hands flying up to her mouth. Her eyes were wide and unbelieving.

"No way!" She exclaimed.

"Oh, way!" I answered enthusiastically.

"How? When? Where's the ring?" The paramedic used her hands actively while speaking which gave her a look of a person in urgent need of psychiatric treatment.

"These are three wonderful questions!" I giggled.

Clarissa showed up with our order and I waited patiently for her to place the items on the table to continue, though I could see my friend's impatience.

"Yesterday, it happened yesterday!" I finally went on after we were served. "It was…it wasn't exactly the most romantic proposal ever but…it was perfect."

Gaby was silent just looking at me.

"I think this is a place where you're supposed to be happy for me." My good mood was wavering. "I know, you've never been his biggest fan but you know how I feel about the man, and what he feels for me. So be my friend and be happy for me."

She sighed uneasily.

"I am your friend. That's exactly why I'm saying all of this. Because I'm your friend. Are you sure he's ready for this? Are you sure that he's not gonna back out or hurt you in the end?" Gaby finally asked, a very serious expression across her fair features. "I mean in matters of age of course he is, he's almost thirty. But what about matters of commitment? Is he ready?"

I didn't answer right away. The truth was: I didn't doubt Kelly, I doubted life. I didn't get a lot of happy moments before and it all changed when Kelly entered my life. And for some blissful time I managed to maintain a pretty much ignorant existence. But lately the thoughts have been invading my head that everything could change in a moment.

"I…" I cleared my throat as I saw Gaby watching my trance intently. "He's ready. I know that. What frightens me the most is that…everything is so good…I keep thinking that there's a radar somewhere that's just waiting for me to reach this limit after which it's gonna pop out and scream 'You're too happy, Harper, you don't deserve it. Get ready to fall!'…"

My hands flew in the air showing something that resembled an explosion.

Gabriela put her hands on her lap silently and took a deep breath before resuming speaking:

"I tend to get…overprotective of my friends and family. What I know of Severide from the before-you era is not exactly the most moral stuff…he was a womanizer and…well, mostly this. So I keep expecting him to slip…I guess."

She looked at me and continued.

"But probably I should stop. It would be wrong and unfair not to acknowledge that he's changed. I'm sorry if I made all those uncalled for thoughts emerge in your head. It never was my intention. I think you deserve to be happy. You more than anyone. And it doesn't matter what I think of him, Severide deserves to be happy too."

I bit on my bottom lip. Then reached across the table and squeezed my friend's hand lightly. She smiled and sis the same. We would never reach a full understanding on that subject, that was clear, but at the moment the compromise that was resting on the table in front of us was enough.

The rest of the lunch was spent in talks of latest news from the Lakeshore Hospital's new doctor Mike, Dawson's possible love interest, and the versions of my dreamy engagement ring.

-\-

Chicago isn't called Windy City for nothing. Although the weather was very warm that Friday, the wind was nevertheless present as it felt that the day had its significance. And unfortunately not only for me.

I walked slowly, my feet slightly stumbling beneath me on the green perfectly trimmed grass. A bouquet of lilies in my hand, sunglasses shadowing my eyes.

"It's good that you came." A soft voice said near my ear when I finally came to a stop.

"How could I not?" I answered as softly and kneeled to put the flowers on the tombstone where the other bouquet has already been placed.

_**April Margaret Holmes**_

_**Beloved Daughter Sister Friend**_

_**1986 – 2011**_

I let my hand caress the cold stone pushing up to stand near Mrs. Holmes who hugged me by the waist tightly. I reciprocated the action.

"It seems so surreal." I said. "It's been a half year already."

"Yes. And I still wait for her to come back home sometimes." The older woman's words were quiet and held a deep sadness within them.

"And I still think she would show up for our every week Sunday lunch-brunch in Argo Tea on Rush Street." I smiled, thinking of the good days when April was still with us.

"Oh, I remember those." Mrs. Holmes' lips were touched with one of her softest smiles. "When she told me about this name you came up with I couldn't stop laughing."

That made me produce a little laugh of my own:

"She was fascinated with some show on TV about rich Manhattan kids. They always had those brunches on Sundays, so she suggested we have our own. I guess I couldn't resist."

Mrs. Holms' smile grew. We started walking through the graveyard, the sun blinding if it wasn't for our sunglasses.

"Mrs. Holms, there's something I need to tell you," I said as we proceeded with our path. "And to ask you."

"Sounds serious," She looked at me but we didn't stop walking.

"It is," I smiled. "Kelly and I are getting married."

At this she stopped and took her glasses off, the motion making me do the same. She looked at me for a longest moment and then drew me to her and gave me a bone-crushing hug. I never thought there was such a force in that delicate woman. I hugged her back and laughed as I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders: her approval meant the world to me.

"I'm so happy for you! It's time you found yourself a man who would take care of you."

She pulled away but our arms were still clasped in front of us.

"So I wanted to ask you…" I added deliberately. "My parents…well you know, neither of them is in my life for different reasons but that's not my point. Would you consider walking me down the aisle when it's time? I know I'll never replace your daughter but…"

She put her hand in the air in front of me to stop my bubbling as she probably heard my voice cracking anyway. Her eyes were filled with tears as she said:

"I would be honored."

My own tears started falling as she reached her hand to my face and gradually wiped them away with her thumb.

"You have no idea how happy you've just made me."

I just nodded for fear of more tears fountaining out.

We parted some time later: she went back to spend some more time with her daughter and I moved in the direction of Firehouse 51.

A very strange feeling settled in my heart. Suddenly I had no idea what was going on with my feelings: my emotions hit me like a tidal wave. I felt cold and after a minute - hot. My eyes were jumping from one object to another never really processing what I was seeing and my hands were shaking rapidly. I didn't know whether I should sit on a bench and wait till I feel better or run to the fire station.

My legs made a decision for me as they carried me west from where I currently was. Fast.


	15. Chapter 15

A\N – Ooof, finally! I'm so sorry for the late, guys! A lot of things to do in real life and I found myself struggling with this particular chapter! Not sure why…maybe because I know what's in my plan for the upcoming parts and trust me they will not be so fluffy and positive :(

Anyway, here's the next chapter. Review! (I'll keep chanting it as a mantra until your reviews start coming).

-\-

Gabriela Dawson didn't expect a call from her friend again that day. They've had lunch together that contained a detailed analysis of her cautious attitude to one Kelly Severide. So when Shay picked Gaby and Harper went on to meet April's mom, the former didn't expect to hear from her friend for some time. But not even four hours later – a call.

"Missed me already?" Gabriela smirked smugly in her cell still cleaning the ambulance car's floor with one hand.

But her answer was nothing more than short breaths that usually come when someone's having serious difficulty breathing.

"Harper?" The paramedic stood up straight.

"Gab…" Harper was breathing heavily on the other end of the line, not finishing the words.

"What's wrong?" Gaby asked, concern building in her stomach.

"There's something…not right…with me…" Her words sounded as if she was shivering or shaking uncontrollably. "I'm on the corner…down of the sta…station…"

"Wait there, I'll be in two."

Gaby flipped the phone close and grabbed her bag with medical supplies, jumping from the car and heading for the street, pace fast.

"Hey, Dawson! Where are you going?" Leslie's surprised voice called from behind.

"I'll be right back!" Gaby called back without even turning her head and a moment later disappeared behind the corner, leaving her blonde friend looking at the place she was just a second prior.

It didn't take long to find Harper. She was standing on the corner of two streets, her back pressed firmly to the building, eyes franticly running scanning the happenings.

Taking a second to access the situation Gaby flew up to her friend, her bag fast on the ground, hand on her wrist to check the pulse. Too fast…too fast.

-\-

First I felt someone's hand on my wrist. After that I registrated Gaby's hand on my wrist. The movements around me were too wild for my eyes. I closed them.

"Your pulse is breaking a speed limit…"

"What…what's wrong with me?" I finally breathed out with great difficulty.

"You're hyperventilating, your pulse is sky rocketing, you're shivering, you can't focus…I'd say you're either on drugs or…you're having a panic attack."

When my friend said the words suddenly every little symptom that I had, started making sense.

"Ok, let's get you to the station and I'll give you a shot of Chlordiazepoxide…"

But before Gabriela could finish I grabbed on her hand and still panting protested:

"No! No…Kelly shouldn't… see me like…this…"

Gaby shook her head slightly but gave in soon enough.

"Fine! But I'll get you a cab and you're going straight home. But I still don't think you're right. He's your fiancé now, he should know stuff like this."

I didn't say anything and just closed my eyes while she fished out the medication and a small syringe. I chose not to look at the procedure and just tried to will my hands not to shake as furiously. I didn't exactly feel anything as the needle pierced my skin, only a slight tingling and then suddenly my body started to relax. Gradually but quickly.

A minute or two later I finally felt myself coming back to normal pace. When my eyes adjusted to the sun and the street and my ears started accepting the noises at a normal volume I turned to Gaby breathing out with some kind of finality.

"Better?" She asked looking me over.

"Definitely."

"How do you feel?"

"Dizzy."

"It's normal." She confirmed while putting the used equipment back into her bag to throw away later. "You…you wanna tell me what happened to get you all so…so..?"

"It's just…everything, I guess…" I took another tranquil breath. "The proposal, the contest is in a week's time and…today I saw Mrs. Holms…we were talking about April. And…I just at one moment I felt so incredibly selfish…"

I slid down to the ground my back pressed firmly against the building. I felt awfully tired all of a sudden. Some people around us kept sending us glances I didn't bother to interpret, others just minded their way without any acknowledgment.

"I am having the happiest moments of my life and she is six feet under…and how did it all start? He saved me from the fire she died in…"

Gaby kneeled next to me not giving any thought to her now-stained uniform. She put her warm hand on my shoulder and just kept it their not really saying anything. I knew all she could of said that's why I was thankful she stayed quiet.

"And then I felt this start happening…"

"Listen, this is not a normal reaction. Your health is not in a good shape." The paramedic said firmly. "You have to do something about it. And I'm not kidding."

I nodded. I just nodded as always.

"Ok…" She stood up and proceeded to help me up as gently as possible. "I still think you should come back to the station with me."

"No." My answer wasn't meant to give any way to discussion. "I can't show up like this when Kelly's on a shift. What if there's a call and he will be worried about me when they go into a burning house? No way."

Gabriela nodded realizing my concerns and looked around for a cab. Her face was grave and it was a perfect indication that she was far from thrilled about what was going on.

-\-

It was vividly quiet at home. And dark. No lights on at all, my courtesy. I was resting on the bed, my head to the window, wearing a small shorts and a tank top with a knitted long sweater covering me like a blanket.

Kelly was taking his time in the shower. I was thankful for that because after the injection Gabriela had given me earlier I felt exhausted and unable to move. I only had the strength to change and claim the bed after the return to the apartment.

I heard the water being turned off and Kelly moving around in the bathroom.

My body couldn't move but my mind kept working. Gaby prompted me to talk to Kelly. I firmly decided I would not. I could already hear my friend's displeased voice paired with an unhappy grunt and a setdown glare to boot. But to me the situation didn't exactly contain the solution at the moment. I knew enough about my…affliction. I knew what to do with it and I knew that if I treat it more or less right there was a big chance that in couple years I would come out of it. One other thing why I wasn't running my wildest to deliver the news to my boyfriend is because he was not a boyfriend anymore but a fiancé. He would probably think that I lied to him all the time we were together. And I knew one thing for certain: I couldn't lose him. I couldn't lose the family I was so craving to have. Not in a million years. And as far as I was concerned all the disorders of the world could go to the darkest and far-est corners of the Earth.

Kelly exited the bathroom in his favorite attire: dark slacks, barefoot, shirtless.

_Shit…the man just never makes it easy!_

But there was a subtle change. I couldn't pinpoint it right on the dot but his eyes told a story. A story I couldn't quiet read then. Years later I would regret I didn't.

He pressed the opposite hand to the right shoulder, grimaced slightly and proceeded to drop his things on the chair. The droplets of water from his still-wet hair slid down his neck and to the broad shoulders. They probably tickled the shoulder and triggered another small wave of discomfort. And another wince.

"Are you ok?" I asked not moving from my place still observing him.

"Sure." He lied. And I knew. "Just a long day."

He climbed onto the bed and moved until he was a couple inches away from me. I still did not move. Kelly sighed and put his arm around my waist moving me closer to him, but apparently the pain in his hand made itself apparent again, and he immediately retrieved his hand, turning over to the other side.

I wondered if it was still a residual from his injury but didn't ask. I knew he wouldn't answer. How? I guess I studied Kelly Severide pretty good. He had some very big issues. Me? I had probably even bigger ones. We were so screwed up to tell the truth. But somehow being screwed up together made it all a little better.

I moved slightly and felt dizzy again. I made myself focus and ignored the feeling. One of my hands snaked under his healthy arm as I put my head to his back, listening to him breathing and breathing in his smell. Wood. It would always be wood. I felt Kelly envelope my small hand in his bigger one and press it to his chest.

"How was your day?" Kelly murmured before he dropped asleep without waiting for my answer.

"Long." I whispered to no one in particular.

I was too tired but my thoughts refused to leave me, keeping me awake and annoyed.

Sleep came in an hour. It was dreamless and as restless as I expected.


	16. Chapter 16

A\N – Hello-hello, my lovelies! I must say that I love this chapter a lot! I enjoyed writing it and hope you'll enjoy reading it. ;)

Please, review, it's very important for my karma!))

-\-

"Oh-oh." I heard myself sing-sand as I looked at the small black velvet box that fell out of Kelly's jeans' pocket.

I knew what it was. I hoped that I knew what it was. At least that's what it usually looked like in the romantic movies Kelly hated so much.

I looked around, listening carefully to where my fiancé was, my eyes wide and mouth in a small mischievous grin. My hands were still wrapped around his clothes I wanted to put in the laundry. I tiptoed a little closer to the secret article. I knew I shouldn't be doing this Kelly would want to present me the ring himself…_of course…yeah…maybe just a little pick…_but my hand was just shamelessly reaching out while I bit on my bottom lip.

Of course, all the major laws of situations like this one in tack, Kelly decided to make his appearance right that moment:

"Have you seen…?"

I yelped, clutched his clothes to my chest and jumped away from the lonely black item on the floor as if it was a mouse or something worse.

Kelly looked amused more than anything.

"Ah….it's….you know it was just lying there screaming to be opened!" I was rumbling.

"Har…" Kelly tried to stop me but to no success.

"Oh god! I'm sorry! I'm a nosy bitch!" I was acting childish and absolutely hyper-actively if it's even possible to describe a behavior like that.

Kelly chuckled and kneeled to pick up the box. By then I was covering my eyes with my hands.

"You're adorable. Right now much more than ever."

I picked through my fingers and saw that instead of standing up he was still down on one knee in front of me with _the black box_ opened. I bit on my lip again, hands slowly sliding down from my face as I dropped the dirty clothes carelessly to my feet. I looked in the box in my man's arms and gasped barely audible.

The ring was absolutely breathtaking. White gold. Classically elegant with a round brilliant diamond encircled by a double row of bead-set diamonds. A band enhanced with those same small diamonds added to the striking magnificence of the masterpiece.

"I take it you like it?" Kelly chuckled again.

I just kept nodding my head not trusting the traitorous voice to speak.

Kelly took out the ring and easily slid it on my finger. My left hand has never looked to beautiful.

"I hope no one will be blinded by that rock." I breathed out as my fiancé rose from the floor.

Kelly laughed and I jumped on him encircling his midsection with my legs. He caught me with no effort at all as I proceeded to kiss him deeply sealing our engagement.

-\-

"So, I hear congratulations are in order?" I looked up at Jonathan from my place on the floor where I discarded my dancing socks from my aching feet.

My mentor and boss was turning off the stereo system with his back to me. We were the last ones left in the studio after the rehearsal. It was close to 10 in the evening and we all were more than exhausted physically and mentally.

"Thank you." I said softly.

"Are you happy?" Jonathan turned around but instead of shortening the distance between us leaned against the table with the stereo system across the room.

"Hm…yes." My voice was soft as I watched his piercing blue eyes burn a hole through my soul trying to determine whether I was lying.

He was silent for a series of moments that dragged on for too long for me. Jonathan was one of the most collected people I've ever known, he never showed up his emotions. In the academy we used to joke that he didn't have any at all. But right at the moment at the studio, in a deserted classroom I saw something I never thought I would. He tried not to look at me and stay as far as possible. His hands…his trained strong hands gripped on to the surface of the table he was leaning on.

I leaked my lips involuntarily as I timidly stepped closer.

"Is everything…?"

"I glad you're finally happy." Jonathan interrupted my question.

His accent sliced his muted voice that in turn poked at my uncertainty. I closed the gap and stood next to him leaning with my front to the desk, mirroring him.

"I don't think it's a secret for you that I…that I've been experiencing certain feelings for you…for quite some time now." He started coaxing words and I kept silent, casting a glance at him once in a while. "You were too young when we first met…sixteen or something. I had a good eight years on you. Then I was your teacher and it was not permitted so I couldn't bring anything out."

I turned my head in his direction. Though the words seemed so hard for him to form, the tone of his voice was calming and slightly throaty. He was looking straight ahead not turning to me.

"When you came here after the accident I…I didn't let myself approach you in that way…you were hurt and you've just lost everything you worked for since you were little. What I failed at is providing you with a friend you needed then…that's what I'm sorry for…but I couldn't exactly be your friend."

My eyes suddenly started stinging. He was telling a story a should have read through the lines of his life a long time ago. Jonathan, my teacher, my employer, a man who's done so much for me, was in this strange place with me and I had no idea how he really felt about it. I knew he was attracted to me at some point in the Academy…but…

"But now you're getting engaged and you say you're happy. And I really want to be happy for you." He didn't say anything for a long moment.

I was standing next to him and it felt like a wall of really heavy bricks just fell from the sky and on my head. I knew I had to say something but words were just not there.

"Jonathan…" I cleared my throat as it went totally dry. "You have no idea how thankful I am that you're in my life. I…every single moment of what my life was after I enrolled into the Academy would have been different if it wasn't for you. And I wouldn't change a thing. I…I didn't think…you…you're good at hiding…"

I breathed out a breath with a huff. He chuckled good-naturally.

"You don't need to look for words." His crystal eyes finally stared into mine and as our faces appeared to be too close for allowable, I could actually feel his breath on my skin, one of his hands reached to remove a loose strand of hair behind my ear but stopped an inch from my face. He held it in the air for a second and then slowed it down without touching it sculpturing the curve of my face and neck on the way. "You and I never really needed words."

That was true. That was why we were so good together on the stage…

Jonathan squeezed my hand lightly, my fingers caving underneath his palm. A moment later I was alone in the classroom, packing my things. I fished my new ring from the depth of my bag. The diamonds funnily sparkled at me as if trying to tell me some amusing truth I was missing. I sighed, stuffed the circled object back into the pocked of the bag and headed for the showers.


	17. Chapter 17

A\N – I'm not exactly sure that I've written it out the way I planned but…it seems thatI change the story plan quiet often. At least the details.

Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to drop me a line!

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"So, he basically said that he's been in love with you all these years." Jen's sick voice sounded manly and throaty.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious." I huffed and put the thermometer into her mouth successfully shutting my friend up.

The measurer started beeping not more than 10 seconds later and I took it out to check the progress:

"102' again? Really?!" I drew my hands in the air in frustration. "Jen, it's like you're not even trying to get better!"

"It's been half an hour since we've measured the temperature last time, you moron! You can't get over with the flu that fast!" She roared and tried to push me off the couch but I hit her knee and she succumbed to the fate of having me occupying at least one third of the sofa. "Stop bitching."

"I'm not bitching." But I was.

"I know you. You're frustrated about Jonathan because despite what you have with Kelly with this proposal and all your impending wonderful fairy-like life together you're used to having Jonathan by your side. Always. And you don't know what to do and how to act now that there's a possibility of him…not being there anymore." Jen sneezed loudly, I passed her a napkin.

"This is bad."

"The whole thing with Jonathan?"

"No, the fact that you know me that well!" I threw the rest of napkins at her and turned on the TV.

"Is that all that bothers you?" Jen asked, making her legs comfortable on my lap.

"Besides the Blackpool, engagement and that a lot of people seem to be in need of declaring love for me…at the same time?" I scowled.

"Basically."

I sighed, giving up. "It's Kelly."

"What's wrong with him?"

"It's…hmmm….it's his shoulder. The one he injured. I don't think he's telling me the truth…I…I think he's hurting…a lot. And he's not admitting it. Even to himself."

"You sure?" Jen sneezed again and looked up at me tiredly.

"No but…I can see that he's hurting." I pulled the blanket tightly over her legs.

"Until he realizes that he needs help, there's not much you can do, H." She reasoned. "Wait. Maybe he'll come around. Ultimately, it's only we that can help ourselves."

We were silent for a moment until my sick friend coughed and grinned wearily:

"That's all the wisdom I can give away today. Too tired! To sick!"

I let out a laugh.

"Now keep that smile on, girlie, let's watch 'Tangled'!" She reached for the remote but I was faster.

"Fine!" I looked at her matter-of-factly. "But we start with the frying-pan episode!"

-\-

When I reached the station that evening I met Chris first who was on his way home. He congratulated me on the engagement and, giving me a bear hug, hopped into his car to go to his wife and kids. Chris directed me to Kelly's room, saying that he had to fill some papers as the day had been rough.

Inside I went on the round of 'Hello's and 'How you doin's until I got to the room where guys used to sleep on shifts, between the shifts and when they felt like zombies.

When I entered Kelly's cubicle in the far end of the room he wasn't there. His things were spread on the bed along with the black bag he used to carry them in. I looked around – still no sign of the fiancé.

I decided to make myself useful and busied myself with putting the clothes neatly into the bag. While doing so, my eyes caught a small black bag inside. Usually I wouldn't pay any attention to it if it wasn't for the item near it. It was small, smaller than the bag, and was wrapped into a dark cloth – one of Kelly's shirts.

I hesitantly reached for the wrapped item. My mind was focused on the task at hand and I really didn't want to imagine any case scenarios.

When I unwrapped the t-shirt I really wished I've had those scenarios prepared…

There were two used syringes in it.

My mind still didn't think of anything. No excuse. No story. No nothing.

I quickly put them back into the bag and reached for the small black bag with the zipper on it. Opening it up, I saw the almost-used bottle of strong pain-killers, two more new syringes and a small bottle with some kind of medication, a liquid without a name on it or prescription.

My hands started shaking a little. That couldn't be the pills that's been prescribed to Kelly after the surgery, those finished a week prior. I didn't know a lot about medicine but enough to realize that those were some heavy drugs.

I didn't move.

When Kelly entered the room, just out of the shower steamy and all, I still did not move.

"Harper, what are you doing?" He asked wary, stopping at the door.

"Pff…what am I doing?" I looked up at him, my voice void of any emotions. "I really think a better question is what are you doing?"

"Where did you get these?"

He reached for the medication in my hand but I dodged his hand and stood up still holding the items in my hands.

"Where did you get it Kelly?" I asked, looking straight at him. "Where did you get that kind of stuff?"

"Give it back, Harper." His voice sounded stable but I didn't buy it. "You don't want to drop any of this."

He sighed.

"If you're hurting so much why won't you go to the doctors? Why don't you ask for help?" I looked at him incredulous. The question I didn't dare to ask: why wouldn't you confide in me?

"Why?" At that he started getting mad. "Because this is my career we're talking about here! If this is something serious I might have to take a leave for God knows how much time. I can't do it right now."

"But if this is serious don't you understand that you might get worse? Like you can…lose your hand or something! End up with one hand not functioning at all! Have you thought of that?"

"Don't overdramatize this!" Kelly pushed his hand through his hair, exhaling. "This stuff only helps me deal with the pain when absolutely needed."

"Well you seem to need it quite a lot." I muttered throwing the painkillers on the bed.

"Oh…what do you know about it." The second the words left his mouth Kelly squeezed his eyes shut and silently mouthed 'shit'. "I'm sorry…I had no right to say it…"

"Yeah, you had no right." I nodded but I was avoiding his gaze at all costs.

"Just drop it, Harper." He said finally, turning to the bed to collect his things. "This conversation isn't going anywhere. You need to come down then we'll talk."

I couldn't believe my ears and what's more – I didn't know what to say to dissolve the grave thing that settled around us in the air. It was like a brick wall was building itself between us and we kept on handing the bricks for it to appear.

"I'm going back to the studio, I need to blow off some steam." I headed for the exit.

"Say hi to Jonathan." Kelly's words reached me at the door.

"Shut up, Kelly. Just shut up."

I continued my walk to the sound of Kelly sending a chair flying in his cubicle.


	18. Chapter 18

A\N – Soooooo, I think by now you should all know that I send my love to everyone who reviews, follows, favorites this thing! You are my motivation and inspiration! Keep your wonderful words coming, I'm thrilled to know what you think!

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I heard the noise of someone approaching before there was a voice.

"Harper? What are you still doing here? I thought you went home…" Jonathan said as I saw his figure in the wall-mirror. I was dressed in my dancing attire with my hair in a tight bun on the back of my head.

"Dance with me."

"You…you want to go through the routine again?" He looked up slightly confused from the papers in his hands, his piercing blue eyes scanning me like X-rays.

I moved from the wall and slowly made my way through the floor and to the place where he was standing. I gently took the papers from his hands, his eyes following me all the time, gaze comprehending.

"No, I don't want routine. I want you to dance with me." It wasn't a question, I told him what I was expecting with simple determination.

Papers in hand I stepped behind Jonathan to the table with the stereo system and pressed the 'play' button. Leaving the documents on the table I turned to my partner and taking his hands in both mine guided him to the center of the floor as the first accords of Ottis Redding's "Ain't no sunshine when she's gone" started playing.

Before I knew what to do Jonathan turned me around so my back was slightly touching him.

"Your shoulders are like stone. In order for this to work, you need to relax." He whispered, his hands firmly on my shoulders applying the slightest pressure. "Close your eyes."

I did as he said.

"Now…breath."

Inhale. Exhale. Once again. And again.

I felt the muscles on by back, the ones attached to the spinal cord, started to relax as the beats of the song replaced one another. Shoulders fell slightly under Jonathan's arms and my neck felt as if it was feeling up with water. I think I even felt my head spinning a little. Only then did I realize just how much stressed out I really was, how much my emotions affected me physically.

I felt Jonathan take my left hand with his left one and gradually guide it behind his head similar to the first move of Johnny and Baby's final dance from 'Dirty Dancing', one of my favorite 80's movies. My lips twitched in a small smile, I kept my eyes shut and let the dance and my partner take control finally relaxing into my own body and forgetting for just a little moment that there existed another world outside the dance floor.

-\-

Kelly didn't feel like going home. Neither did he consider going for the night to his and Shay's apartment. So he opted for the bar. To his fortune (or likely the opposite) Matt was there. Kelly really hoped for Lesley's company but instead he got Matt. _No heart to heart then._

"Hey, man." Casey greeted him when Kelly took a seat next to him at the bar.

"Hey." Kelly nodded and turned to the bartender. "Hey, Jerry. Beer."

"You alone?" Matt took a sip from his own bottle of beer.

"Yep." Kelly nodded again at Jerry who handed him the bottle. "Why are you here? I thought you headed home after the shift."

"Yeah…I just…don't feel like going home right now." Casey gulped the drink.

Kelly nodded hoping that the conversation would be left at that – polite remarks, head nods and stereotypical questions about weather. But the Lady Luck just seemed not to be at his side.

"It's just ever since I found out about your and Harper's engagement, congrats by the way, I can't help thinking that Hallie and I…well, it's like we should have already gotten married…"

"You do realize that this is not a contest, right?" To this Casey huffed into his bottle.

The last thing Kelly wanted was to play a shrink but Matt seemed distressed and there was no one else to hear him out…and frankly Kelly found it to be a small destruction from his own growing pains and problems.

"So why haven't you? Gotten married, I mean." He finally asked.

"It's her. I've proposed not once but she wants to complete her residency…" Matt was slightly agitated telling the story. It was apparent that he'd rather talk to Andy or no one at all but the situation was that he needed to pour what was on his mind and Kelly was a friend, a good one and he was there to listen.

Kelly came into the bar to run away from the complications in his relationships but it turned out that filled with his own troubles he was still able if not help but listen to his friend in need and strangely enough it brought him the sense of tranquility he's craved so much at the moment.

The sharpest uneasiness was looming over his head after his unfinished talk with Harper and Kelly didn't kid himself. He knew that as soon as he stepped out of the bar all the worries, anxiety and dilemmas would fly right back but for the time he could just start with -ing Casey.

-\-

"God…I feel so much better." I was sitting on the floor, my back to the wall, massaging the slightly-unfrozen muscles of my right shoulder.

"You need to stop doing it, Harper." Jonathan answered as he turned to collect the papers from the table.

"Doing what?" Looking up at him I started to pull myself up back on my feet.

"You've always done that. Ever since you started dancing. You have problems. You come to the studio. You try to dance them out. But the trick is – you don't solve them here. You can't solve them here."

My confused eyes glared daggers at his back:

"What are you talking about? I come here because I'm frustrated everywhere else…"

Jonathan turned to look at me and his icy eyes softened just a little bit as they met mine.

"You were seventeen probably and we were then practicing for the _Hamlet_ at the Academy. I was late one night from the meeting with the Director and when I was passing the classrooms I heard music. I neared the room but didn't enter. That night you danced Ophelia's dance at least a dozen times. The next day you didn't even try for Ophelia."

I opened my mouth to answer but it simply swam away from me so Jonathan went on.

"It's very good that you have this haven. A place you feel comfortable in. That you don't go destructive. But…sometimes you have to face your demons."

"What if I don't know how to do it…at all?"

"You know, the thing about your demons and everybody else's: you confront them, then you confront them and then…you confront them some more."

We were standing in the dim studio face to face and I could feel the tones of energy being thrown back and force.

"And what if I'm afraid that if I confront those demons everything is gonna fall apart?" I asked finally, my voice low and tired.

"Before you do anything you have to decide what you want yourself. In the end it's all about the questions you ask yourself. Do you want to do something? Do you want to stay? Do you want to leave?"

"Just like that?"

"Usually life is not as complicated as we paint it to be."

I sighed. Jonathan edged closer and swiftly kissed my forehead, using his right hand free of documents to give a slight hug. I closed my eyes but could still feel the bitterness of the simple act.

"Stop running from your problems, Harper. You've had a too long marathon now."


	19. Chapter 19

A\N – Well, my darlings! This is the most emotional chapter, trust me. This is both culmination and one of the ending chapters of the story!

At first I thought about something different and I prepared an alternate ending before in which everything was a bit (much!) more dramatic but I just couldn't post it…I just like I owed Harper and Kelly this courtesy. They've took a place in my heart and they are there to stay, I'm sure of it.

I think I'll write one more chapter as an epilogue, I'm sure you'd want to know what happened to our couple. Plus I promised you to get the story to the TV show's timeline.

I love you all, thank you to everyone who read the story and like me felt for Harper and Kelly. But it's life. And sometimes even the strongest love isn't enough. Love you all so much!

And now…..

-\-

It was after twelve. It was dark both outside and inside as I zig-zaged around the furniture items in the apartment without actually banging into anything like a mole.

My head was full of thoughts. The anger I felt prior evaporated and its place was filled with thoughts. They were everywhere in my mind: flying around, nudging to do one thing or another.

I reached the kitchen and removed the jacket leaving it on the kitchen island. My hands were acting on their own accord as they moved to pick a mug from one of the top cabinets to pour some juice in it. I stood in front the window, my drink in hand, and only then I realized that I was drinking from the _My boyfriend is a Firefighter _mug. Against all the uneasiness I was feeling it made me smile. One of my hands flew to my mouth so I could bite on the proximal phalanx of my index finger. It always helped me stop the tears. But the sadness was so strong and the tears stung so much.

The keys started scratching the door and I quickly wiped at my eyes and put the cup on the windowsill.

"Hey." Kelly threw the keys on the coffee table, discarding his leather jacket.

I turned around as he turned the lamp on the way.

"I was at the bar with Casey. You'd never believe how many troubles there are in paradise apparently."

I smiled. I was looking at him and suddenly my every other thought seemed so unimportant. I felt this tug to stay with him forever without a care. But the damage has been done. To our relationships. The bubble we used to exist in burst. And the faster we'd accept that everything has changed the faster we'd have a chance for something new or at least to rebuilt what we have been building this last year.

Kelly sat down on the couch rubbing his eyes with a palm of his hand. He focused on me after noticing that I was still standing near the island not adding my two cents to the story.

"You…"

"We need to talk." I said finally, very calm and quietly.

"No!" Kelly shot up and was facing me, his hands grabbing at mine. "Don't do this. This is ridiculous."

As his hands touched mine I felt the warmth. The warmth I already started missing. But I've made a decision and I had to stick to it.

"Kelly…Kelly! Listen to me. This is…"

"Is it about our fight?" He interrupted me.

"No…Yes! Both." I sighed. "I need you to understand that what I'm about to say is…so hard for me. I never thought that …"

"Harper, stop! Whatever you're trying to say is wrong. We can fix it all. I love you." He said staring straight into my eyes. I knew it was the truth. I never doubted that.

"I know. And I love you too. No one ever doubted that. It's just that we're at a place in our life when love isn't enough. And before you say something else, I want you to think. There's a reason why you didn't tell me anything about the pain in your shoulder. A reason why we withheld certain things from each other…"

Kelly furrowed eyebrows.

"Shame, insecurities, fear…I don't know. But the thing that remains – we couldn't trust each other enough to open up about them. This isn't anybody's fault. It isn't even our fault…" I was swallowing tears. "We were just brought up this way. We don't do the trust thing and probably that's why we worked so good at the start. Because we're alike in that department. But to create a family it's not enough. We have to change."

One of my hands slid out of his handlock and drifted unconsciously to his shirt, tugging on it a little. My nervous habit.

"I don't want anything to change. I don't want you to change." Kelly pushed my hand that was on his shirt up to where his heart was. "I don't know how this thing will work without you."

His words were low and clear and with each of them I felt like my own heart was being stabbed. Rapidly, repeatedly. I wish he would just stay silent.

"I need to change too." I smiled sadly but it reminded more of a scarred grimace. "More than anyone. I'm sick, Kelly."

And there it was. I finally said it. The weight didn't fall off my shoulders as I expected. But the air suddenly became clearer. Kelly looked at me dumbfounded, his eyes wider than usual, trying to establish whether I was telling the truth or executing an excuse.

"What?"

"I'm sick. I have an eating disorder that started long before we met. I thought…I really thought that I could help myself. That I would stop…that I could heal. But I realize now that I need help. And that would be wrong of me to commit myself to something so big when I can't even handle my own body." I clutching to his hand as my voice cracked more with every word.

As Kelly's mouth opened and closed again and again but in his eyes I saw the understanding. He finally put together all those meals without me eating anything but vegetables, those dinners when I only had coffee, those moments of my lies that I didn't want anything to eat because of "full lunches".

But I said it. I admitted it to him but most importantly to myself.

Kelly didn't say anything but he crushed me into him in a tight embrace. My hands flew to hold his back while I buried my head into his chest. Tears were falling freely from my eyes and I felt him start to rock our bodies to some unknown rhythm.

About two hours later we were lying wrapped in each other on the couch darkness surrounding us like a blanket. My eyes were red but it felt like I could cry more. Like the generator of my tears finally opened and I could use all the unused tears I didn't cry all those years.

"That was almost a fairy-tale really." I whispered into Kelly's chest. "A knight saves a girl from a burning tower. They fall in love….and almost live happily ever after."

"I think you underestimate their story." Kelly said finally, his voice gruff from staying silent for so long. "The knight and the girl could still have their happily ever after."

"Maybe someday. But not now."

I knew Kelly wanted to counter me, say something…anything. But in the end he fell silent again. Deep down he knew I was right.

"I love you. I know it may sound cliché…" Another wave of tears covered me and it was harder and harder to talk. "But I've never felt like this before. When I recognized this feeling I knew it had to be what people call love."

"It is. It's once in a lifetime thing."

He held me tighter and I curled closer to his side.

We didn't sleep that night. More likely drifted off couple times before the dawn.

"What are you gonna do?" Kelly asked when the first rays of light hit our faces.

"There's a good clinic in Boston for people like me. I've called them yesterday and made all the arrangements. Dawson is taking me there today."

His voice was tired, I was exhausted but somehow holding each other gave us the serendipity we were hoping so much for.

"I can drive you."

"No…no."

He didn't protest anymore.

"Promise me that you'll get help. Please." I looked up at his face, my body still maintaining its position next to him.

Kelly sight deeply and closed his eyes.

"I'll get help."

"Make sure to do it before it's too late." I clarified.

He finally looked at me a chuckled just a little.

"Okay, Pixie."

And with that my heart broke all over again. I knew that I was doing a right thing. We were doing a right thing. But it hurt anyway. The tears sprang again, disregarding them I lifted myself up on one elbow and kissed Kelly deeply on the lips. He answered me momently. The kiss felt final: all the love, all the pain, unfinished memories were poured into it. I started it and I was the first to break apart, touching my forehead to his.

This was how I was intending to remember our love. Bright golden light from the sun was shining blazingly through the window of the kitchen announcing a brand new day, a start which will mend all the wounds and will show the right way, and somewhere in this light there would be a path that ultimately might bring me back into the hands of the man I loved to much, the man that saved my life. But before any of this could happen we both needed to heal. My healing started then with that light.


	20. Epilogue

A\N – Ok, my lovelies, Epilogue! We are done! I'm so glad you lunged with me on this journey and so thankful for all of your reviews and opinions, that you followed and (I hope) just like me felt happy and sad for Kelly and Harper! I feel blessed to have all of you! I'm waiting for you to review the whole story!

I know that some of you probably imagined a thousand ways to kill me for the last chapter but their situation is so difficult and unique that you can't honestly tell me you know exactly what you'd do if you were Harper.

I wanted to finish it before the new year arrives. Feel good that I did! :) Merry Christmas to everyone! And happy upcoming New Year! I hope this year all your wishes and dreams will come true! Hugs to everyone:)

Anyhow, this is the last piece to complete the puzzle. Enjoy!

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**THREE MONTH LATER**

Kelly didn't think that there was any chance he'd be able to move. He spent three last hours in the gym making punching bag a pancake. With every punch delivered his shoulder screamed louder and louder. It took long hours for him to stop because if Kelly was honest with himself he'd admit that the physical pain reduced the mental one. And God knew Kelly needed that.

Andy was gone. His best friend died, perished…

Kelly didn't want comforting, didn't need time to weep in solitude, wasn't about to drink himself into oblivion. Kelly was just angry. No, he was more than just angry. He was livid…fuming…enraged. He wanted somebody…something…to pay for what happened to Andy. And punching bag was a solution enough.

After he couldn't feel his shoulder anymore and the amount of sweat on his wifebeater and skin was enough to fill a small lake in central Africa Kelly took a very long shower all the while trying to feel the numb muscles of his back.

He went straight home after his fruitless encounter with the punching back ended. Fruitless because by the time he got home he was hurting not only emotionally but his body was burning as well. For a couple hours pain seemed to lessen as he boxed with the shadow of the demise but everything came right back as soon as he stepped out of the training room.

Kelly prayed for some sleep. Dreamless painless sleep where he would just exist without having to think who was really at fault with Andy, how he blamed Casey every minute of every day, about the pain that was the only constant thing in his life besides his job and the ultimate loneliness he was facing.

As the clocks neared ten the darkness seemed to consume every element in the room much like Kelly's whole life in general.

Kelly turned on his side, closed his eyes slowly and started hoping for a sleep full of emptiness.

When he felt a hand on his shoulder the first thing on his mind was that Shay came home and decided to check on him. But the touch wasn't full of that sisterly affection he usually felt when the blonde paramedic half-hugged him or punched him in the arm. No, it was a small hand with feather-like caress, with slightly cold skin and a long-lost familiarity to its touch. Kelly considered the possibility that he was still dreaming but then again the trace of the hand seemed so real that the dream-theory shattered shortly.

Kelly sat up swiftly and almost hit his head on the shelf above the bed.

"Careful!" Kelly became painfully aware of the voice.

Two and two together he already knew even before the lights were on that Harper was sitting right next to him on the bed.

He looked at her, a wave of shock and surprise still had him under. She looked different. Her chocolate brown hair was longer and reached her shoulders in light waves in contrast to a straightened vision she used to wear her hair. Her skin was still porcelain white but the white wasn't sickly, almost as if it wasn't pale but was at the same time. Her cheeks acquired a minor natural blush. She was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and dark skinny jeans and from what he could tell she was still tiny and fragile. But her eyes…her bright blue eyes were shining as if two fireflies settled down there.

"Hey, hero." She spoke first, smiling a small smile.

"Harper?" Kelly finally choke out when he realized that he's been staring at her for at least five minutes straight.

"In flesh and blood."

"What are you doing here?" He was glad it didn't sound like an accusation.

She looked down and back at him with sad expression.

"Well…I couldn't exactly let you go through this alone." She took a more comfortable place on the left side of the bed her back to the headboard.

"I thought you were in Boston." Kelly's voice was sliced with suspicion.

"And I thought you would have gotten your hand fixed by now. It's a miss-miss."

He looked at her as if she's officially gone crazy. Maybe that was the case and she just escaped from the clinic…

"Relax, I'm still in Boston. Well, technically I am anyway. My program is taking six to eleven months but…I have two days off…for good behavior."

"You make it sound like prison." Kelly finally crawled back to his position on the back and was looking at his ex-fiancée down up.

Harper produced a noise that sounded like a bitter laugh but didn't elaborate.

They spent the next couple minutes quietly neither exactly sure how to start.

"I'm sorry about Andy."

"Yeah…" Kelly pulled his one of his hands to cover the light from the lamp on the bedside table. "How did you know anyway?"

"I'm keeping tabs."

"Dawson?"

"Well you didn't think that were my precognitive visions!" That made Kelly smile. "Cause those have been off lately."

Kelly mused at how easy it was to sink into their pattern. But at the same time the change was evident. Obvious but subtle. Hidden somewhere in her eyes and laid out there in front of them.

"How are you doing?" Kelly managed to pull himself up so they would be on one level.

"You don't wanna talk about Andy?" Harper shoved the truth up Kelly's face without even flinching.

"I don't wanna talk about Andy! And about how Casey succeeded in getting him killed!"

"OK, tiger, take it easy!" Harper grimaced as if she was talking to an irrational child. "I eat by the schedule now."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Schedule schedule schedule! That's all I see." She made a little dance with her hands.

"Must be tough." Kelly glanced at the woman by his side.

"It is a definite killjoy. Bur we have to pay for our mistakes, you know." She smiled. "That reminds me…why the hell haven't you still done anything with that shoulder?"

And again her tone wasn't accusing more like "I'm disappointed…but only slightly because you have absolutely no responsibility when it comes to yourself so I'm kinda not surprised". That kind of tone.

"Didn't have time." Kelly sighed.

"Didn't have time." Harper mocked. "You're killing me! But you know, I realized something in Boston. Only you can help yourself. At least start…go check your shoulder. It's not gonna get better on its own. Sorry, no magic to waste on it."

"How did I survive without your smart-ass comments all this time?" It was more of a rhetorical question anyway.

Harper didn't bring Andy's death again in the conversation and Kelly appreciated it. They talked about her time in the clinic. She said that the first month was awful and nobody was allowed to visit. After that Jen and Mrs. Holmes became frequent guests. Gabriela came down once. Jonathan called all the time. It was strange but Kelly realized that he didn't feel a pang of jealousy when Harper mentioned her dancing teacher. There was something dull throbbing in his chest but if he wouldn't be searching for any kind of indication he would've missed it.

"Thank you." She said finally.

"For what?"

"Well among other things for doing what I asked. I asked for you to not try and contact me. And you didn't. So thank you for that."

"Anytime." He joked for God knows it was hard not to jump in his car, drive all the way to Boston, abduct her, throwing her into the trunk, and come back to their apartment where all the memories were stored.

"Sometimes I feel like I need to do the right thing." Kelly said out of the blue, his voice low as the sleep was catching up to him. "But I'm not sure what the right thing is."

"You should just ask me." Harper smirked good-naturally knocking another small laugh out of the firefighter next to her. "You need to get some sleep. You look awful."

"Thanks."

"Sleep! Now." She hissed and Kelly felt himself sliding onto his back.

"Will you stay?" He asked as his eyes began to shut down.

"For a little while." She answered after a small hesitation and when Kelly turned on his side, his back to Harper, she put her hand around his waist, hugging his form. Kelly took her hand in his and pushed it into his chest.

"I miss him." He mumbled on the verge of sleep.

"I know." She nodded into his back.

That night Kelly slept. For the first time since Andy died. His body was relaxed and his mind was somewhere else. He didn't remember any dreams but the sensation was pleasant and warm.

He woke up alone in his bed somewhere at lunchtime the next day. The bed was cold on the other side, the one that Harper occupied. By then he was ready to believe that he'd dreamed the whole encounter when he spied a piece of paper with Harper's neat writing on the bed night table. Unfolding the paper he read:

_I couldn't stay until you wake up and I couldn't bring myself to wake you up either, you seemed in need of the beauty sleep. My friend searched a couple doctors who specialize in your problem area, their numbers are on the backside of the sheet. Don't be an idiot and use them. _

_When the time comes and you'd need to talk to somebody about Andy, you can come to me. That is if you feel that you'll need me. _

_Take care, hero_

_xo Pixie_

The corners of Kelly's lips tugged up just a little. He turned the paper to find three set of numbers scribed there.

Harper was healing, he concluded. She looked different – maybe not exactly better but more alive. It wasn't going easy for her, that much Kelly knew. She refused to give any particular details about her treatment but told him the general. Maybe it was finally time for him to get a grip and start rebuilding his life.

Harper and his story wasn't over. Or maybe it was. Either way she's changed his life for good, gave him the ability to really appreciate and love that he thought he'd lacked since birth. Her visit was brief and seemed more like a piece of a dream but it gave Kelly a shove into the direction his life was supposed to go. Maybe seeing her moving on to make herself a better person was the push he needed, maybe the fact that after all that happened between them they knew that they were each other's dear people whatever happened but that day Kelly decided to stop the mess he was currently residing in. She believed in him, Andy believed in him…that was a proof enough.


	21. AN - Sequel

A/N

GUYS! I'm so glad to inform you that I'm coming back with the sequel, so everybody who's enjoyed and took a ride with Kelly and Harper, please join them for Part II.

Be waiting for you there! Love you all:)


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